IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Shoppers have too much choice, from chocolate bars to jeans.' What, in your opinion, are the advantages and disadvantages of having many things to choose from?

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In 2024, there
is
Wrong verb form
will be
show examples
 an abundance number of every product. There are shelves and shelves of different
type
Fix the agreement mistake
types
show examples
 of milk to
choice
Replace the word
choose
show examples
 from, from
full fat
Add a hyphen
full-fat
show examples
 to almond milk.
Overall
Linking Words
, there are
he
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
advantages and disadvantages of having
choice
Correct article usage
a choice
show examples
 due
the
Change preposition
to the
show examples
 financial ability to purchase needs and wants. In terms of advantages, having multiple choices of any product adheres to those with special needs.
For instance
Linking Words
, those who are not able to digest milk, are now able to purchase and consume alternative
type
Fix the agreement mistake
types
show examples
 of dairy.
In addition
Linking Words
 to that, prices are more affordable
due to
Linking Words
competitions
Fix the agreement mistake
competition
show examples
 between companies.
Finally
Linking Words
, people of different
weight
Fix the agreement mistake
weights
show examples
 are now able to purchase clothes
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
 their sizes since companies are creating
products
Use synonyms
that
Linking Words
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 suitable for everyone. There are equally if not more disadvantages
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 consumerism. It causes issues
that
Linking Words
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
effecting
Correct your spelling
affecting
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 more than people. The environment is severely affected by the amount of
products
Use synonyms
 thrown
due to
Linking Words
 having an abundance of items.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, it is the driving force behind materialism where people measure others based on what bag they are carrying over their values. In line with that,
due to
Linking Words
 creating newer
products
Use synonyms
, companies created more labels
such
Linking Words
 as "plus size" or shops that only
adheres
Correct subject-verb agreement
adhere
show examples
 to ladies who wear size 0. Those labels are affecting women negatively. Creating
unnecessarily
Change the word
unnecessary
show examples
 categories of
products
Use synonyms
 to expand the market leads to women questioning if they need to fit
this
Linking Words
 new category. In conclusion, the disadvantages
outweighs
Change the verb form
outweigh
show examples
 the advantages by large. Having the privilege to shop should not be held of importance over the environment. Rules and regulations should be put in place to ensure that
products
Use synonyms
that
Linking Words
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 harmful are not made.

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introduction conclusion
Work on refining the introduction to provide a clearer context and purpose for the essay. This will help set up the discussion more effectively.
logical structure
Try to avoid minor grammatical and typographical errors, such as 'there are he advantages and disadvantages,' which can disrupt the flow of reading.
relevant specific examples
Clarify some of the main points with more specific examples or evidence to strengthen your arguments. For instance, elaborate on how companies creating more sizes impact different communities.
complete response
The essay covers both advantages and disadvantages of having an abundance of choices in products, which shows a balanced discussion.
supported main points
Main points are well-supported with relevant ideas, such as the impact on people with special needs and the environmental consequences of overconsumption.
logical structure
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs detailing advantages and disadvantages, and a conclusion summarizing the viewpoints.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • abundance of choice
  • personalization
  • competitive pricing
  • decision fatigue
  • innovate
  • buyer’s remorse
  • competitive edge
  • high-quality
  • preferences
  • time-consuming
  • satisfaction
  • overwhelm
What to do next:
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