Schools are spending more time teaching traditional subjects such as history. Some people think they should rather spend more time in teaching skills that can help students find a job. To what extent do you agree or disagree.
Different opinions are surrounding regarding the teaching structure in the school, where some
says
that there is no need to spend so much Correct subject-verb agreement
say
time
on traditional subject
but a dire need to spend Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
time
teaching student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
skills
that might help students score a job. I believe
somewhat agree with the opinion, to explain my understanding Verb problem
apply
in
Change preposition
of
this
matter, I would present my facts using examples and evidences
that are circulating in Change the wording
evidence
pieces of evidence
shreds of evidence
the
society.
Correct article usage
apply
In
one hand, Change preposition
On
the
society Correct article usage
apply
need
to understand why Change the verb form
needs
and
traditional Correct word choice
apply
subject
helps in student
's career growth and development. Firstly
, traditional
Add an article
the traditional
subject
allows Add an article
the student
a student
student
to understand Fix the agreement mistake
students
different
Add an article
the different
subject
as different past why and how things started with reasoning. Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
For instance
, a student
or child is like a
clay waiting to be Correct article usage
apply
molded
by Change the spelling
moulded
a
artist or teacher. Change the article
an
However
, a kid needs to understand why a particular skill is important for him and how it can help him in the long run financially with satisfaction. Secondly
, based on a recent survey study conducted by the European Union with entrepreneur
suggests traditional learning Fix the agreement mistake
entrepreneurs
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
stucture
a society by Correct your spelling
structure
inovating
different ideas and Correct your spelling
innovating
skills
Fix the infinitive
to helps
helps
Correct subject-verb agreement
help
completing
a task in an organised manner. Wrong verb form
complete
Furthermore
, it was also
mentioned that traditional
method of study creates Correct article usage
the traditional
inovaters
and Correct your spelling
innovators
skills
creates
Correct subject-verb agreement
create
employes
.
Correct your spelling
employees
In
the other hand, why Change preposition
On
this
idea is presented to spend more time
on skills based
schoolAdd a hyphen
skills-based
.
Primarily, Change the punctuation
?
due to
the rise of inflation and lack of job
leading to a rise in poverty. As of result Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
of
Change preposition
apply
which
it was said, Correct pronoun usage
apply
it
is necessary for students to teach Correct word choice
that it
skills based
learning to support their Add a hyphen
skills-based
family
. Fix the agreement mistake
families
Secondly
old study method takes Add a comma
Secondly,
time
for Add an article
the student
a student
student
to understand which field they need to Fix the agreement mistake
students
persue
. Correct your spelling
pursue
Thirdly
, skills based
learning allows Add a hyphen
skills-based
student
to access Fix the agreement mistake
students
money
pool in Correct article usage
the money
a
easy way by doing small jobs for big Change the article
an
firm
or Fix the agreement mistake
firms
score
new jobs in Wrong verb form
scoring
a
easy way.
In summary, The traditional Change the article
an
subject
allows students to understand where they should work which will support them financially and mentally by giving them satisfaction with continous
interest Correct your spelling
continuous
thoughout
their life. Correct your spelling
throughout
However
, the skill based
job may allow Add a hyphen
skill-based
student
to gain jobs but in the long, will they be Fix the agreement mistake
students
safisfied
? Correct your spelling
satisfied
that is
the question everyone should discuss.Submitted by nick
on
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coherence cohesion
To improve logical structure, ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that your points are logically ordered. Consider using more signposting phrases to guide the reader through your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Work on strengthening the coherence by linking your ideas more smoothly. Use a greater variety of cohesive devices and make sure that your examples directly support your main points.
task achievement
To achieve a more complete response, address both sides of the argument more thoroughly, ensuring that each side is equally convincing.
task achievement
Expand on your ideas more clearly and comprehensively. Make sure each point you make is well-explained and logically developed.
task achievement
Use more specific and relevant examples to illustrate your points. This will help to convincingly support your arguments and demonstrate a stronger understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Your introduction outlines your position and indicates that you will use examples and evidence to support your stance. This approach is effective for engaging the reader and setting up your argument.
task achievement
You have acknowledged both sides of the argument, which shows a balanced understanding of the topic. This is important for addressing the task fully and demonstrating critical thinking.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example