The provided bar chart depicts the changes in the percentage of overweight males and females in Australia over a thirty-year period, from 1980 to 2010.

The provided bar chart depicts the changes in the percentage of overweight males and females in Australia over a thirty-year period, from 1980 to 2010.
The bar chart
illustrat
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illustrates
illustrate
the changes in the percentage of overweight
woman
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women
show examples
and
man
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men
show examples
in four decades in Australia. The data are
musured
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measured
in percentage.
Overall
, it can be seen that there
are
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is
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a significant difference between male and
famel
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female
frame
fame
rate
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rates
show examples
. The
propotion
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proportion
of
overweightness
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overweight ness
increase
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increases
show examples
gradually
throught
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through
throughout
the period for both
ginder
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genders
.
One
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On
show examples
one
Correct article usage
the one
show examples
hand , the initial number of men was less than half in 1980
then
it rose slightly to around 52%.
However
Add a comma
However,
show examples
the figure showed a dramatic increase th reach a
peack
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peak
at 70% in 2000.
One
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On
show examples
the other hand,
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the Famal
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Famal
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the female
show examples
rate was relatively low compared to
male
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males
show examples
. In 1980 the number of overweight
wommen
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women
was 30%
then
it rose to 40% and it
remind
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reminds
show examples
stabel
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stable
for the next two
year
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years
show examples
at exactly 50%.
Submitted by ananan2780 on

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "changes" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.

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