The most important aim of science should be to improve people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
It is widely believed that
,
one of the very first goals of growing Remove the comma
apply
science
is enhancing the standards of human life. Personally, I subscribe to this
insight to a large extent.
Our way of life has been improved thanks to advances in science
. First,
growing science
leads to Correct article usage
the discovering
discovering
Replace the word
discovery
colossal
methods and medications in the medical field. Change preposition
of colossal
That is
, it has helped scholars tremendously find the
treatments for uncurable diseases. Take cancer as an example. Numerous drugs and methods, Correct article usage
apply
such
as chemotherapy have been discovered to cure patients who have developed cancer. Previously, there were no efficient treatments for such
diseases, therefore
patients used to pass away. Advanced medications not only developed our medical facilities but also
decreased the mortality rate.
Furthermore
, growing science
results in sophisticated technology
. Scientists have developed methods to take advantage of natural resources rather than fossil fuels in order to capture energy. For instance
, nowadays, there are so many facilities, such
as windmills and solar panels to harness the energy of wind and sun. This
can easily decline the desire for fossil fuels which can pose devastating effects on the environment. Utilizing the energy of natural resources can apparently reduce the air pollution and water contamination caused by burning gas, coal, and charcoal.
On the other hand
, a panel of people claim that advanced technology
may result in some serious drawbacks. They believe unemployment in this
day is stemmed from sophisticated technology
. To clarify, invention
of artificial intelligence (AI) is one of the most threatening factors which can cause unemployment. When Add an article
the invention
an invention
this
novel technology
can meet various requirements, employers will become reluctant to take Correct article usage
the workforces
workforces
on. Fix the agreement mistake
workforce
However
, this
issue can easily be managed by imposing intellectual laws.
In conclusion, due to
the foregoing reasons, although
there might be some downsides, the advantages of science
in our lives are far more than the disadvantages. Hence
, owing to advanced approaches in medicine and technology
, I am totally in favour of this
view.Submitted by aradzandieh.dvm on
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coherence
The essay could benefit from more seamless transitions between paragraphs to enhance the overall flow and coherence.
task response
While the main points are well-supported, some arguments could be further elaborated to provide a deeper analysis, particularly regarding the potential downsides of advanced technology.
specific examples
The essay presents clear, comprehensive ideas and provides relevant, specific examples, such as advancements in medical treatments and the use of renewable energy.
structural elements
The introduction and conclusion are present, providing a clear framework for the essay and reinforcing the main points effectively.
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