Topic 14: (25/06/2016) Some people think it is more important for government to spend public money on promoting a healthy lifestyle in order to prevent illness than to spend it on the treatment of people who are already ill. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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health issues and obesity are
areguble
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arguable
arguably

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nowadays, some
beileve
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believe

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that government
spendings
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spending

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should be
in
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on

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promoting
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a

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healthy
life style
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lifestyle

The word life style seems to be miswritten. Consider replacing it.

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to
prrevent
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prevent

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illness rather than using it
on
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in

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teartment
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treatment

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. I totally agree with
for
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this for

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very
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a very

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important reason and in
this
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essay
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essay,

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i
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I

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will explain and
proved
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provide

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examples.
Firstly
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
beileve
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believe

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that governments play
crucial
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a crucial

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role in it is
citizens
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citizens'
citizen's

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well-being, for that government should promote
healty
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healthy

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life style
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lifestyles

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and
such
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as
proveding
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providing

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information about healthy food and diet. Another
exmple
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example

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to promote
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of promoting

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healthy
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a healthy

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life style
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lifestyle

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,
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apply

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is by encouraging
the
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apply

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people to go to the gym and doing physical activities and spport the gym
onwers
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owners

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to reduce the fees of
member ships
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memberships

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so anyone can join the gym easily even
for
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apply

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people with lower income.
seconly
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Secondly

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, The government should
but
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put

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restrictions on consuming fast food and sugary drinks, That eventually will lead to less obesity in the whole population and that will reduce illness
overall
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

.
besides
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

that, the

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coherence cohesion
Your essay should have a clearer structure. Consider using paragraphs to separate your introduction, body, and conclusion. This will help the reader follow your argument more easily.
task achievement
Try to develop each main point more thoroughly. Providing more detailed examples and explaining their relevance will strengthen your argument.
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Pay attention to spelling and grammar mistakes. Proofreading your essay before submitting it can help catch these errors.
coherence cohesion
Make sure to have a clear introduction that states your position and outlines your main points. Similarly, a conclusion that summarizes your key arguments will help round off your essay effectively.
task achievement
You've made a clear stance on the issue, which is great. Stating your position unequivocally helps the reader understand your perspective.
task achievement
Your essay covers several relevant points on promoting a healthy lifestyle, such as information about healthy food, diet, and physical activities, which are very pertinent to the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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