IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features,and make comparisons where relevent.

The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features,and make comparisons where relevent.
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The bar chart illustrates a comparison between married women and married
men
Use synonyms
 in the average
hours
Use synonyms
 of unpaid
work
Use synonyms
 each week.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that the maximum
unpaid
Correct quantifier usage
number of unpaid
show examples
work
Use synonyms
hours
Use synonyms
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 done for married
men
Use synonyms
 . There is a significant difference between males and females in all given categories. The average
hours
Use synonyms
 that
men
Use synonyms
 without any child
work
Use synonyms
 without
paid
Replace the word
pay
show examples
 was 30
hours
Use synonyms
 .
Moreover
Linking Words
, it rose to just over 50
hours
Use synonyms
 if they had one or two kids .
Men
Use synonyms
 with more than three children
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
work
Use synonyms
 60
hours
Use synonyms
 without money.
On the other hand
Linking Words
 , we can notice from the chart that there is no huge difference in
women
Change noun form
women's
show examples
 data .
In addition
Linking Words
, there is a slight decline in unpaid time
depend
Wrong verb form
depending
show examples
 on the number of kids .

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words men, hours, work with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "difference" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • percentage
  • physical activity
  • age groups
  • engagement
  • demographics
  • decline
  • gender gap
  • regular exercise
  • younger ages
  • middle age
  • older age
  • highest and lowest participation
  • comparative analysis
  • trends
  • illustrate
  • significantly
  • evident
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