Today more and more people want things instantly (eg: goods, srevices, news). Why is this "Is it positive or negative development?"

Nowadays, the majority of the population has a desire to get immediate gratification
as well as
its
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
results for everything. Some
people
claim that
this
means
is
Correct your spelling
it
show examples
has good results for our social development, but,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
others believe
that is
negative and bad.
Due to
various
opinion
Fix the agreement mistake
opinions
show examples
,
this
essay will explain all the causes concerning the event and present a proper summary. On the one hand, an increasing number of folks
are preferring
Wrong verb form
prefer
show examples
speedy actions and reactions, so many new technologies
were
Wrong verb form
have been
show examples
invented to assist
people
with their needs.
As a result
, the
time
that individuals have to wait for the services no longer
exist
Correct subject-verb agreement
exists
show examples
,
instead
they will complete other work for the rest of the day.
Moreover
, automation is another groundbreaking innovation which has made peoples’ daily activities enjoyable and comfortable.
For example
, washing machines, electronic cookware,
refrigerator
Fix the agreement mistake
refrigerators
show examples
, air-conditioning and the list is endless. Because of inventions,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
peoples’
Change noun form
people’s
show examples
knowledge
is
Verb problem
has
show examples
broaden
Wrong verb form
broadened
show examples
the horizon. Turning to the other side of
argument
Add an article
the argument
an argument
show examples
, some pitfalls
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can easily overwhelm the potential benefits of
this
trend. It can contribute to a lack of perseverance and patience among individuals. The practice of
delay
Replace the word
delayed
show examples
gratification, where individuals invest
time
and effort for long-term rewards, is crucial for personal growth, skill development and achieving ambitious goals. What is more, it
effects
Correct your spelling
affects
show examples
very
Correct pronoun usage
them very
show examples
badly on human beings when they depend on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
technologies
Fix the agreement mistake
technology
show examples
too much.
For instance
,
according to
research at Cambridge
university
Capitalize word
University
show examples
, London
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
90
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
of youngsters who are hospitalized struggle with serious ailments. In summary, to make more money,
people
invest a lot of
time
working, which leaves them no
time
for other errands. They prefer getting things done faster
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
so that they can focus on making more money.
However
, it causes some problems
such
as effects on humans’ health or lack
some
Change preposition
of some
show examples
necessary
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
for
people
who depend on invention too much.

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coherence cohesion
Your essay is generally well-organized, but there are a few areas where you can improve coherence and cohesion. Try to ensure that each paragraph logically flows into the next and each sentence within the paragraphs also follows smoothly from the previous one.
task achievement
You have provided a complete response to the task, touching on both the positive and negative aspects of instant gratification. However, you could develop your ideas more comprehensively and provide more specific examples to strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Your essay provides a balanced view, discussing both the benefits and drawbacks of the trend towards instant gratification.
task achievement
You have adequately identified and discussed the main points related to the task question.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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