Some people think that it is more important to spend money on roads and motorways than on public transportation system such as railway and trains. To what extend do you agree or disagree.

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It
is argue
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is argued
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that expenditure should
be spend
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be spent
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on
road
Fix the agreement mistake
roads
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an
Correct your spelling
and
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motorways rather than on transit
system
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systems
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.
This
author certainly
disagree
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disagrees
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with
this
statement and will write
and
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an
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essay to explain his viewpoint. First of all,
transport
journey
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journeys
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play a central role in why money should be
spend
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spent
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on
transit
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the transit
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system. It is
conclusion
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a conclusion
the conclusion
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that
,
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apply
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there
are
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is
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multiple
type
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types
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of public
transportation
have
Correct pronoun usage
that have
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enough ability to evidence numerous goods and individuals quickly
in
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apply
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a
Correct article usage
apply
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long over distances
lead
Wrong verb form
leading
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to the cut down on
transport
vehicle
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vehicles
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, suitable for
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an individual
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individual
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individuals
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to save
time
cause the fall down of
transport
congestion and
safe
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save
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a lot of
time
for
company
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the company
a company
show examples
to
transport
a wide range of goods in a short period of
time
, an idealistic way to enhance their own facility.
For
example
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example,
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Trains can move many people quickly over long distances, which helps reduce traffic and saves
time
.It is not essential to understand why money should
be spend
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be spent
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on transit
system
Fix the agreement mistake
systems
show examples
. Investing in roads and motorways is often seen as essential for improving
transportation
efficiency, facilitating the movement of goods and people, and supporting economic growth. Well-maintained
road
networks can reduce travel times, enhance connectivity between regions, and stimulate business activities.
Additionally
, for many individuals and businesses,
road
travel remains the primary mode of
transportation
, making investments in
road
infrastructure indispensable. In conclusion,
while
investments in roads and motorways are important, disregarding public
transportation
systems can lead to various social, economic, and environmental challenges.
Therefore
, a more balanced approach that considers the needs of both
road
and public
transportation
infrastructure is necessary for sustainable and efficient
transportation
systems.
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Task Achievement
Your task achievement would improve with more concrete examples. While you did mention trains, you didn't provide a detailed example or statistic to strengthen your point on public transportation.
Task Achievement
Clearer and more concise idea development would help. Some sentences are verbose and repetitive, which muddies the main point. For example, 'suitable for individual to save time cause the fall down of transport congestion and safe a lot of time for company to transport a wide range of goods in a short period of time, an idealistic way to enhance their own facility,' has too many ideas crammed together.
Task Achievement
Make sure to proofread for grammar and vocabulary accuracy; for example, 'It is argue' should be 'It is argued' and ‘It is not essential to understand why money should be spend on transit system’ is unclear and contradictory.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay has a logical structure, but the transitions between paragraphs could be smoother. Using more cohesive devices will help link your ideas better.
Coherence and Cohesion
The conclusion should succinctly summarize your main points while reaffirming your stance. Try to avoid introducing new ideas here, as it slightly distracts from the overall cohesion.
Task Achievement
Your introduction clearly presents the topic and states your position effectively, setting the stage for your argument.
Task Achievement
You recognize the importance of balancing investments between roads and public transportation systems, which adds depth to your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay structure includes an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This helps guide the reader through your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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