Some people think that individuals today are more dependent on each other. Others believe people have become more independent. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #individuals

In recent days,

people

have held different views about whether we become more dependent on others.

While

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

some argue that

people

are more reliant on others than they used to.

This

essay believes that we are more independent than

people

in the past. On the one hand, there are some reasons that could be argued that we depend on each other now.

First,

life is complex and difficult, especially, since the cost of living has increased dramatically. Young adults tend to require their parents for financial help when they buy a house because property prices have been higher in recent days.

Secondly

people

seem to be more ambitious about a better life for their family.

Therefore

, both parents have to work overtime and exhaustedly in order to provide for their children's careers.

On the other hand

, I would agree with those who believe that we are more independent these days. Some

people

think that being dependent on others will waste their time.

Also

, becoming independent may increase confidence in facing difficult situations and it helps

people

enhance decision-making skills.

For instance

, many parents often encourage their children to study abroad

instead

of going to the local university because

this

experience gives them some information about the other environment. In conclusion,

while

there are some reasons to believe that modern

people

are reliant on each other, my own view is that we are more independent in recent years.

Thu May 30 2024

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task achievement

Try to provide more detailed and relevant examples to support your arguments. This not only strengthens your position but also makes your essay more convincing.

task achievement

Work on expanding and elaborating your main points with more specific details. This helps in achieving a more comprehensive response to the task.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph flows logically to the next by using appropriate transition words and phrases to enhance coherence.

coherence cohesion

You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in framing your essay well.

coherence cohesion

The essay follows a logical structure with paragraphs dedicated to both views and your own opinion.

task achievement

You have presented clear ideas and your writing is easy to follow, making it accessible to the readers.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

237 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

interconnected
globalization
remote work
independence
dependency
specialization
professional services
social validation
individualism
self-reliance
collective action
sustainability
global community
navigating
complexity
environmental movement

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Some people think that individuals today are more dependent on each other. Others believe people have become more independent. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Language teachers should concentrate on giving feedback to students when they do good work, rather than on criticising bad work.To what extent do you agree or disagree?

How important is to teach children about sustainability? These days, looking after our environment is increasingly important, and children should learn about sustainability. Write about the extent you agree with this statement.

Living in a a country where you have to speak foreign Language can cause serious social. problems, as well as practical problems. To What extent do you agree or dis agrees?

Children have more and more tests and exams to do at school, sometime starting until the age of five or six, right up until the age of eighteen. What are the advantages and disadvantages of making childern do exams?

Despite a varity of sports facilities and gyms, people are less fit nowadays than ever before what do you think are the main causes of this problem? what solutions can you suggest?