the graphs below show the percentage of men and women aged 60-64 who were employed in four countries in 1970 and 2000. summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

the graphs below show the percentage of men and women aged 60-64 who were employed in four countries in 1970 and 2000. summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
The two bar charts illustrate the proportion of
males
and
females
who were 60-64
years
old and were employed in four different countries
Belgium
, the
USA
,
Japan
and
Australia
between 1970 and 2000. the units in
both
bar charts are percentages.
Overall
, it can be seen that
females
in the
USA
and
Australia
had a difference from the others , it had a trend decreased but the others
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
increased. The
percentage
of
females
in
Japan
was the highest in
both
years
,
by contrast
, in
Belgium
two
years
always had the lowest
percentage
.the
second
bar chart of the
percent
Replace the word
percentage
show examples
of
males
showed a trend that increased too much, the highest
percentage
was
males
in
Japan
in
both
years
and the lowest
percentage
was in
Belgium
in 1970 and the
USA
in 2000. beginning with the
percentage
of
females
,
Japan
had the highest
percentage
in
both
years
and increased from 40 per
cent
to 43 per
cent
.
By contrast
, in
Belgium
, it was the lowest
percentage
with 7 per
cent
increased to 8 per
cent
. the
second
biggest was the
USA
, but it decreased from 38 per
cent
to 36 per
cent
. the
second
smallest was
Australia
with 18 per
cent
and went down to 16 per
cent
, it was less than 20 per
cent
in the
USA
. Turning to the remaining statistics ,
males
in
Japan
were always the highest and it went up from 74 per
cent
to 86 per
cent
.
Belgium
was the
second
biggest in 2000 with 79 per
cent
after it increased from 19 per
cent
in 1970. the
second
biggest in 1970 was the
USA
with 55 per
cent
and went up to 73 per
cent
, it became the third
percentage
in
this
chart in 2000.
Finally
,
Australia
had increased from 47 per
cent
to 76 per
cent
.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "by contrast".
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words males, females, years, belgium, usa, japan, australia, both, percentage, second, cent with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 4 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 8 times.
Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "went down" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 6 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • employment rate
  • percentage
  • aged 60-64
  • employed
  • country
  • comparison
  • trends
  • increase
  • decrease
  • significant changes
  • socio-economic factors
  • gender disparity
  • highest
  • lowest
  • dataset
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