IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Some people think it is important to spend money on roads and motorways than on public transport systems such as railways and trams.To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #money #roads #motorways #transport #systems #railways #trams
Many individuals believe that spending
wage
Fix the agreement mistake
wages
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 on roads and motorways is more important than on systems' public transportation like trams and tracks. In my opinion, I totally agree with
this
 view and I will give some reasons to explain why in
this
 essay. There are several main reasons why it is more important to spend property on roads and highways. The primary is it is more realistic to invest in them. What I mean is, when society as the government
pay
Correct subject-verb agreement
pays
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 attention to more thoroughfares by reconstructing and improving, it will be more possible because of the accessibility and the simple structure of roads.
Therefore
, they can save lots of
fund
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funds
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due to
 the materials they use to make subways very cheap and collected easily.
Consequently
, spending pay on rail lines is just suitable for
developed
Change the form of the verb
developing
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 countries, which have abundant and sustainable finance to deal with everything that happens in the future. What is more, vehicles
such
 as cars or motorbikes are still more popular than public transport systems. It means
family
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families
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 spend more expenditure using conveyances because of the limited cash resources.
Also
, some
community
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communities
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 hate public transportation because they can not stand the crowded stations and the complex of vehicles’ handling, which make them uncomfortable and unpleasant.
For example
, some public carrying can be overloaded and lag, so
public
Correct article usage
the public
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 can not manage time and they will be late for studying and work. In conclusion, arteries ought to contribute more
bill
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bills
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 than social transit.
Hence
, it has more benefits like good traffic and controlling movement carefully.
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general
Your essay presents a clear position on the topic and attempts to support it with reasons and examples. However, there are areas that can be improved for a higher score.
task achievement
You should work on providing more specific and concrete examples to better support your points. For instance, mention specific countries or cities that have benefited from improved road infrastructure.
coherence cohesion
Some sentences are unclear or awkwardly phrased. Working on sentence structure and grammar would greatly enhance the clarity of your arguments.
introduction conclusion present
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in structuring your arguments.
supported main points
You present valid points regarding the accessibility and cost-effectiveness of investing in roads and motorways.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • infrastructure
  • public transport systems
  • economic growth
  • traffic congestion
  • carbon emissions
  • social equity
  • urban development
  • sustainable
  • mobility needs
  • revitalization
  • efficiency
  • safety
  • reliance
  • combatting
  • mitigating
What to do next:
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