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Band 3

It is said that human rights are being underestimated in numerous nations and every individual should not have their own personal rights to control everything. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#rights #nations #control
Human rights have
also
 been a major concern. In some
countries
 facing issues
such
 as discrimination, human trafficking and other forms of exploitation,
government
Fix the agreement mistake
governments
show examples
 in the region have been taking steps to combat these issues, with some
countries
 implementing laws to protect vulnerable groups and promote equality. Global challenges
such
 as climate change, poverty, and
iequality
Correct your spelling
inequality
equality
 are
also
 issues that many parts of the world are facing.
For example
, some
countries
 have been cooperating and implementing sustainable development initiatives and promoting the use of renewable energy sources to reduce greenhouse gas emissions.
Trade
 cooperation is
also
 important around the world.
For instance
,
countries
 in
Southest
Correct your spelling
Southeast
 Asia are working together to promote mutual prosperity through initiatives
such
 as the ASEAN Free
Trade
 Area, which aims to create a free
trade
 area among ASEAN member states. Governments have
also
 been working to attract foreign investment and promote
trade
 with other
countries
 outside the region.
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task achievement
The essay seems to deviate from the main topic. Make sure to focus on the specific statement provided in the prompt about human rights being underestimated and individuals’ rights to control everything. Always align your response to the specific question.
coherence cohesion
Present a clear introduction that outlines your position on the topic and a conclusion that summarizes your points. This will help provide a structure to the essay and improve coherence.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your main points are consistently supported with relevant and specific examples directly related to the topic. Avoid discussing unrelated issues such as global challenges and trade cooperation unless they directly connect to the topic.
task achievement
Your essay mentions significant global and regional efforts, showing awareness of international issues and cooperation.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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