In many cities, planers tend to arrange shops, schools, offices and homes in specific areas and separate them from each other. Do you think the advantages of this policy outweigh the disadvantages?
Governments in many cities
are tend
to sort shops, schools, offices and homes in certain areas and divide them. Change the verb form
tend
This
writer is of the opinion that the benefits such
as convenient
and fluency Replace the word
convenience
the
work will outweigh the waste Change preposition
in the
time
which is negative.
It is vital to understand that these facilities Change preposition
of time
arrange
into a specific area can bring to residents Wrong verb form
arranged
variety
of positions. With Add an article
a variety
this
new development, people can aim and find their destination easier because they just need to go to that area, then
variety
of facilities Add an article
a variety
the variety
had been
there, Wrong verb form
are
already
to be used. It can Replace the word
all ready
also
uncomplicated for manager
to sort the information that they took from the other places.
Moving on to another factor, Fix the agreement mistake
managers
this
plan can reduce the overload phenomenon. As a result
of a lot of amenities that civilians can choose, the access can be transmitted easily. Hence
, the service sectors can also
work faster and more efficient
, Change the word
efficiently
improve
Wrong verb form
improving
the
productivity. Correct article usage
apply
Then
, residents can spend more time
to focus
on Change the verb form
focusing
find
new methods and Change the verb form
finding
invent
more technologies that help human life in the future. Wrong verb form
inventing
For instance
, we had
stuck in Wrong verb form
have been
this
era for too long because of less time
to do the
experiments that can enhance the world.
Correct article usage
apply
On the other hand
, in some emergency situations, people do not have enough time
to go to that area to have the service on time
. So, arrange
it equally, surrounded by households and other amenities can solve Wrong verb form
arranging
that
problems and Correct pronoun usage
those
also
ensure that everyone can use these services.
Taking everything into account, sorting these conveniences can bring more opportunities to develop our techniques and also
solve works
faster and better. Fix the agreement mistake
work
In contrast
, some
cases Change preposition
in some
such
as emergency
, citizens need to prepare Fix the agreement mistake
emergencies
good mental
and navigate the destination to have the best result.Correct word choice
apply
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task achievement
The essay addresses the task, discussing both the advantages and disadvantages. However, the points could be developed further for a more comprehensive response.
coherence cohesion
Ideas are presented logically, but there are instances where cohesion could be improved for smoother transitions. Using linking words and phrases more effectively would help.
task achievement
The essay provides some supporting ideas, but they are not well-developed. Providing more relevant and specific examples would strengthen the arguments.
general
The essay contains some grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. Reviewing sentence structure and grammar rules would be beneficial.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, adhering to the essay structure.
task achievement
The essay attempts to cover multiple aspects of the topic, showing an understanding of the complexity of the issue.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.