IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people say that all people should stay in full-time education until they are at least 18 years old. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #education #years
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Education
Use synonyms
, which plays an important role, students should spend full-time for
through
Correct your spelling
though
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 they are at least 18 years old.
This
Linking Words
 author agrees with the latter viewpoint that students should concentrate on
education
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 so as to contribute to the enhancement of
knowledge
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 and the wealth of educational levels in one nation. It is vital to understand that spending full-time on
education
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 when
people
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 are mature can help them
having
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have
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 a good grasp of
knowledge
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 to make the
grade
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grades
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 and succeed in
workforce
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the workforce
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.
This
Linking Words
 includes not only academic
knowledge
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 but
also
Linking Words
 practical skills.
As a result
Linking Words
, if
people
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 follow the educational program seriously, they will assimilate
knowledge
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 easily and boost their educational backgrounds.
In addition
Linking Words
, they will have a chance to work in top-tier companies with high
salary
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salaries
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. Another key component of the case for spending most of the time studying is developing educational levels in one country.
This
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 means
people
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 are high on
education
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, performing better on achievement and becoming a potential person. In
this
Linking Words
 situation,
this
Linking Words
 thing will create an opportunity for
country
Add an article
the country
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 to build up the intellectual level and turn into a powerful country.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it is easy to understand why
people
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 should
stay in
Verb problem
spend
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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most of
time
Correct pronoun usage
their time
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for
Change preposition
on
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education
Use synonyms
throughout
Change preposition
at
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they
Correct your spelling
the
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are in
Verb problem
apply
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age of 18. In conclusion, paying attention to
education
Use synonyms
 during
people
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 are at least 18 years old is extremely important in their success and the wealth of one nation.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it should have been demonstrated that
people
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 should be encouraged to spend most of
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 time
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
studying.
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Grammar
Ensure all sentences are grammatically correct to enhance clarity.
Task Achievement
Use more specific examples to strengthen arguments.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure all ideas are developed thoroughly and clearly connected.
Structure
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion.
Task Achievement
Addresses the importance of staying in education until 18 years old and gives reasons.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • comprehensive education
  • intellectual growth
  • emotional growth
  • social growth
  • evolving job market
  • specialized knowledge
  • extended education
  • reducing inequality
  • essential competencies
  • vocational training
  • economic impact
  • financial constraints
  • infrastructure
  • stress and burnout
  • personal aspirations
  • career aspirations
What to do next:
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