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Some people say that all people should stay in full-time education until they are at least 18 years old. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #education #years
Education
, which plays an important role, students should spend full-time for
through
Correct your spelling
though
show examples
 they are at least 18 years old.
This
 author agrees with the latter viewpoint that students should concentrate on
education
 so as to contribute to the enhancement of
knowledge
 and the wealth of educational levels in one nation. It is vital to understand that spending full-time on
education
 when
people
 are mature can help them
having
Change the form of the verb
have
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 a good grasp of
knowledge
 to make the
grade
Fix the agreement mistake
grades
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 and succeed in
workforce
Add an article
the workforce
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.
This
 includes not only academic
knowledge
 but
also
 practical skills.
As a result
, if
people
 follow the educational program seriously, they will assimilate
knowledge
 easily and boost their educational backgrounds.
In addition
, they will have a chance to work in top-tier companies with high
salary
Fix the agreement mistake
salaries
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. Another key component of the case for spending most of the time studying is developing educational levels in one country.
This
 means
people
 are high on
education
, performing better on achievement and becoming a potential person. In
this
 situation,
this
 thing will create an opportunity for
country
Add an article
the country
show examples
 to build up the intellectual level and turn into a powerful country.
Therefore
, it is easy to understand why
people
 should
stay in
Verb problem
spend
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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most of
time
Correct pronoun usage
their time
show examples
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
education
throughout
Change preposition
at
show examples
they
Correct your spelling
the
show examples
are in
Verb problem
apply
show examples
age of 18. In conclusion, paying attention to
education
 during
people
 are at least 18 years old is extremely important in their success and the wealth of one nation.
Therefore
, it should have been demonstrated that
people
 should be encouraged to spend most of
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 time
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
studying.
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Grammar
Ensure all sentences are grammatically correct to enhance clarity.
Task Achievement
Use more specific examples to strengthen arguments.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure all ideas are developed thoroughly and clearly connected.
Structure
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion.
Task Achievement
Addresses the importance of staying in education until 18 years old and gives reasons.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • comprehensive education
  • intellectual growth
  • emotional growth
  • social growth
  • evolving job market
  • specialized knowledge
  • extended education
  • reducing inequality
  • essential competencies
  • vocational training
  • economic impact
  • financial constraints
  • infrastructure
  • stress and burnout
  • personal aspirations
  • career aspirations
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