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Writing Samples /
Band 1

The plans below show the layout of a university's sports centre now, and how it will look after redevelopment. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

#plans #show #layout #university #sports #centre #redevelopment #summarise #information #features #comparisons
Did diagrams
illustrates
Correct subject-verb agreement
illustrate
show examples
 the infrastructure of
university's
Correct article usage
the university's
show examples
 sports facility of present and its plan
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
 future after
remake
Correct article usage
the remake
show examples
.
Change the punctuation
?
show examples
Overall
,
It is clear that
 the facility now has three individual sections, two outdoor courts and
main
Correct article usage
a main
show examples
 hall and after
returbishment
Correct your spelling
refurbishment
, it will be connected to each other and become a whole.
Firstly
, additional 25 m pool,
there
Correct word choice
and there
show examples
 will be leisure pools on its west side where outdoor courts used to be.
Then
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the spare place
that is
 left under it
changing
Correct article usage
a changing
show examples
 room will be built.
Secondly
,
this
 reception area
is
Wrong verb form
will be
show examples
 expanded to
its
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
both sides, and on these sides,
cafe
Correct article usage
a cafe
show examples
 and sports shop will be installed.
Subsequently
,
instead
 of the outdoor courts
that
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 on the east of the pool sports hall
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
dance studios and changing
room
Fix the agreement mistake
rooms
show examples
 will be constructed.
Submitted by buyabuya201 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure to include a clear introduction and conclusion in your essay to improve its structure.
coherence cohesion
Focus on enhancing the logical flow of your ideas to make it easier for the reader to follow your points.
task achievement
Work on clear and comprehensive sentences to better express your ideas.
task achievement
You managed to include comparisons between the current and future layout, which is important.
task achievement
You provided relevant details about the changes in the sports centre.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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