Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Other believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification discuss both these views and give your own opinion

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The advancement of time and technology requires
for
Change preposition
apply

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students
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

can study to develop themselves, especially the
university
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

students
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. When
students
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

enter
in
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apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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university
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

, of
Use synonyms
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

course
Add the comma(s)
course,

It appears that you are missing a comma or two with the interrupter of course. Consider adding the comma(s).

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they
chose
Wrong verb form
choose

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb chose. Consider changing it.

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one major with one compulsory
subject
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and materials related to their discipline. Some
students
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

consider focusing on their main
subject
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

in order to get
a
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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maximum
result
Fix the agreement mistake
results

It seems that result may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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while
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

getting a qualification for their field.
However
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, other
students
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

may have confidence that one of the ways to be able
compete
Add the particle
to compete

It appears that the verb compete should be in the to-infinitive form. Consider adding the word to.

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with other job candidates is by learning topics
in addition
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

to their gist material. I want to discuss both sides of the argument. The Ministry of Education in the Republic of Indonesia, Nadiem Makarim said that in the future, a job opportunity would not be opened solely to match the candidate’s background of study
,
Remove the comma
apply

It appears that you have an unnecessary comma in a compound predicate. Consider removing it.

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but to
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil

The spelling of fulfill is a non-British variant. For consistency, consider replacing it with the British English spelling.

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their interests,
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills

It seems that skill may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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, experience, and knowledge.
On the other hand
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, every
student
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

has different interests and talents.
Consequently
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, other subjects can give opportunity to each
student
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

to develop their
out of the box
Add a hyphen
out-of-the-box

It seems that out of the box is missing a hyphen. Consider adding the hyphen(s).

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ideas, based on their ability. In fact,
much
Change the quantifier
many students

It appears that the quantifier much does not fit with the countable noun student. Consider changing the quantifier or the noun.

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student
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

after
finish in
Wrong verb form
finishing

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb finish in. Consider changing it.

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the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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university
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and
Correct word choice
apply

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

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than
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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work
Verb problem
do

There may be a verb use issue here.

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not
releate
Correct your spelling
relate
release
related

If you don’t want releate to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

with
Change preposition
to

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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their major so shows
that
Correct word choice
apply

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

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how is very important for
Use synonyms
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

student
Fix the agreement mistake
students

It seems that student may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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to
can
Verb problem
apply

There may be a verb use issue here.

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learn various dicipline. If
Use synonyms
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

student
Fix the agreement mistake
students

It seems that student may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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have
understanding
Correct article usage
an understanding

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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and provision of knowledge of
course
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

will
became
Change the verb form
become

The verb became after the modal verb will does not appear to be in the correct form. Consider changing the verb form.

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good
consideration
Fix the agreement mistake
considerations

It seems that consideration may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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for the company. Hopefully, later the
student
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

can survive and can get a job easily.
On the other hand
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
Use synonyms
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

student
Fix the agreement mistake
students

It seems that student may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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that
Correct pronoun usage
who

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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focus
to
Change preposition
on

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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main
Change the article
the main

It appears that the phrase main course does not contain the correct article usage. Consider making a change.

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course
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

actually
what
Correct your spelling
want

The word what doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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the
subject
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

that they choose have
releate
Correct your spelling
relevant

If you don’t want releate to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

and to be able follow
material
Add an article
the material

The noun phrase material seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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in
university
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
Usually
Add a comma
Usually,

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase Usually. Consider adding a comma.

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the
Use synonyms
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

student
Fix the agreement mistake
students

It seems that student may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
who have
dream
Fix the agreement mistake
dreams

It seems that dream may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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become lecturer of
course
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

they not interested
learning
Change preposition
in learning

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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other
Change the wording
another subject
other subjects

The adjective other appears to be modifying the singular noun subject. Consider making a change.

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subject
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

because they
assumes
Change the verb form
assume

It appears that the subject pronoun they and the verb assumes are not in agreement. Consider changing the verb.

show examples
can
Correct word choice
that can

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

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waste time and can get
maximum
Correct article usage
the maximum

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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target for a qualification. Summing up, the
student
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

can focus priority to
main
Change the article
the main

It appears that the phrase main course does not contain the correct article usage. Consider making a change.

show examples
course
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

when feel better in the future
for example
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

became
Wrong verb form
becoming

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb became. Consider changing it.

show examples
lecturer
Correct article usage
a lecturer

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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or researcher.
Likewise
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

for
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
Use synonyms
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

student
Fix the agreement mistake
students

It seems that student may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
that
Correct pronoun usage
who

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

show examples
want
Add the particle
want to

It appears that the verb explore should be in the to-infinitive form. Consider adding the word to.

show examples
explore and expand
the
Change the word
their

The word the may be incorrect in this context. Consider changing it.

show examples
knowledge so can take other
Use synonyms
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

course
Fix the agreement mistake
courses

It seems that course may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
but still not
leaving
Wrong verb form
leave

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb leaving. Consider changing it.

show examples
gist
Correct article usage
the gist

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
course
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.

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task response
Ensure to provide a clear and concise thesis statement in the introduction to outline the main points of discussion.
task response
Use more concrete and specific examples to support your arguments, which will help to make your points clearer and more convincing.
coherence and cohesion
Work on your grammar and sentence structure to improve clarity. Try using varied sentence structures for better readability.
coherence and cohesion
Transition sentences between paragraphs could be improved to enhance the overall flow of the essay.
task response
You have addressed both sides of the argument, which is essential for this task.
coherence and cohesion
You have included an introduction and a conclusion, providing a clear structure to your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Broaden
  • Perspectives
  • Specialize
  • Critical thinking
  • Problem-solving skills
  • Career success
  • Interdisciplinary connections
  • Structured path
  • Clear goals
  • Creativity
  • Innovation
  • Academic credibility
  • Recognition
  • Balance
  • Exploring
What to do next:
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