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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In the developed world, average life expectancy is increasing. What problems will this cause for individuals and society? Suggest some measures that could be taken to reduce the impact of ageing populations.

#world #life #expectancy #individuals #society #measures #impact #populations
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high-income countries had long life
prediction
Fix the agreement mistake
predictions
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,which could be combined with a lot of issues.
Moreover
, some procedures can be done to reduce the amount of negative effects on ageing societies.
Overall
, the developed nations characterized by it is advanced technology.
As well as
 high living standards.
In contrast
, it can affect citizens in harmful ways in their physical and mental health.
Due to
 the high-speed lifestyle.
Additionally
, it is important to be aware of the consequences that are related to ageing. On the one hand, living for a long period could be fun and satisfying for some.
Although
 it is hard to maintain health to be stable and not face many illnesses
such
 as hypertension, arthritis,
diabetic
Replace the word
diabetes
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, and vision impairment.
However
, all these elements could be regulated .
On the other hand
, being able to live a happy, stable, and long life contains a lot of benefit for the world and for human beings. Old people are good leaders because of
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 long pathway they accept other opinions and value other inputs.
While
 not all of them can work till they are I believe some can.
Furthermore
, their ability to guide others and visionary insight
inany
Correct your spelling
in any
 manner can be useful in many ways
especiallyif
Correct your spelling
especially if
 it is related to political problems. In conclusion, we can measure and regulate ageing through several projects or initiatives
such
 as promoting preventive diseases and establishing projects to encourage well-being as
medation
Correct your spelling
meditation
mediation
,
also
 stable nutrient diet plays a crucial role in terms of ageing.
Moreover
Add a comma
Moreover,
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 sports
alsocan
Correct your spelling
also can
 enhance physical health. Clearly, ageing can be solved in many ways and it is mangbale.
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coherence
Your essay would benefit from a clearer and more logical structure. Try to use transition words and phrases to make the progression of your ideas smoother and more coherent.
task
Some of your main points lack specific examples and detailed explanations. Providing concrete examples will make your arguments stronger.
coherence
Avoid running sentences together. Use punctuation marks correctly to ensure clarity and readability.
task
You attempted to cover both the potential problems and solutions related to increasing life expectancy, which shows a balanced approach to the topic.
coherence
You have included both an introduction and a conclusion, which is good for the overall structure of the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • average life expectancy
  • developed world
  • increase
  • individuals
  • society
  • personal goals
  • ambitions
  • quality of life
  • leisure
  • recreation
  • healthcare costs
  • challenges
  • healthcare system
  • ageing population
  • shortage
  • available workers
  • economy
  • retirement planning
  • healthy lifestyles
  • investing
  • social support systems
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