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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The maps detail the changes to the layout of a public library between 20 years ago and present day

The maps detail the changes to the layout of a public library between 20 years ago and present day
The maps illustrated the transformation of a
library
Use synonyms
 over the span of two decades until now.
Overall
Linking Words
, there was a significant change in the
library
Use synonyms
’s interior scheme, with the appearance of private spaces and facilities, the
library
Use synonyms
 seems to
more
Add a missing verb
be more
show examples
 contemporary. Especially, there is an open space right in the
the
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
central area. First of all, in the left-hand corner next to the entrance of the
library
Use synonyms
 where
reading
Correct article usage
the reading
show examples
room
Use synonyms
 including
newspaper
Fix the agreement mistake
newspapers
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 and magazines
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
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 located
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
20 years ago.
However
Linking Words
, it was replaced by a computer
room
Use synonyms
. To the right, there was an enquiry desk where customers could buy tickets, return borrowed
books
Use synonyms
 and so on;
however
Linking Words
, it has been transformed into a café. Meanwhile, adult fiction
books
Use synonyms
 were moved
into
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the right-hand side of the
room
Use synonyms
, making way for all reference
books
Use synonyms
 on the left. Below the former book section is a small information desk and three self-service machines, overtaking the space previously occupied by adult non-fiction
books
Use synonyms
. In the middle of the
library
Use synonyms
, tables and chairs have been completely removed. The rest section of the
library
Use synonyms
 has
also
Linking Words
 been
subtainable
Correct your spelling
substantial
 alterations, with the
room
Use synonyms
 in the left-hand corner that accommodated CDs, videos and computer games
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
rebuilt into
children’s
Correct article usage
a children’s
show examples
 fiction
books
Use synonyms
room
Use synonyms
 with two sofas, and it
also
Linking Words
 serves as a space for hosting storytelling events.
Finally
Linking Words
, there is a lecture
room
Use synonyms
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
located in the back right-hand where children’s
books
Use synonyms
 used to be.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also, however".
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words library, room, books with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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