IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

In many countries, the qualities of life in large cities is becoming worse. What are the cause for this problem? What measure should be taken to tackle this problem?

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In recent years, the
quality
Use synonyms
 of
life
Use synonyms
 in large cities has undoubtedly deteriorated. The primary cause of
this
Linking Words
 issue is overpopulation. People are drawn to urban areas rather than the countryside for several reasons, including better job opportunities and superior facilities.
However
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,
this
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 influx of people leads to negative impacts
such
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 as traffic congestion, air and water pollution, and a high cost of living, all of which contribute to a declining
quality
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 of
life
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. To address these problems, several measures can be taken by the
government
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.
First,
Linking Words
the
government
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 should strengthen public transportation systems.
This
Linking Words
 will reduce traffic congestion and allow residents to reach their destinations more efficiently. Improved public transportation can
also
Linking Words
 help to lower stress levels indirectly.
For
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example
Add a comma
example,
show examples
 we can get to
office
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the office
show examples
 faster by
take
Change the verb form
taking
show examples
 a bus or train so we can start to work in a better condition.
Additionally
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, the
government
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 needs to create job opportunities in both urban and rural areas to distribute the population more evenly. Developing infrastructure and public services
such
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 as hospitals and schools in the countryside will help reduce the disparity between urban and rural living standards. In conclusion, to improve the
quality
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 of
life
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 in large cities, the
government
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 must take action to provide good facilities and services, not just in urban areas but
also
Linking Words
 in rural regions.
This
Linking Words
 balanced approach will ensure that the entire community can enjoy a better
quality
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 of
life
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.

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coherence cohesion
To enhance the logical structure of the essay, consider adding more linking phrases to demonstrate the logical flow between sections and ideas. This will improve the coherence, making it easier for the reader to follow your arguments.
supported main points
Your points are well-supported, but expanding on examples can strengthen the overall argument. For instance, you could provide specific examples of cities that have improved their public transportation systems and the resultant positive effects.
task achievement
While addressing the consequences of overpopulation, you might also consider discussing other potential causes, such as poor urban planning or inadequate regulations. This will offer a comprehensive view of the issue, enhancing your task achievement score.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction provides a clear and concise overview of the issue and sets up the essay well.
clear comprehensive ideas
You have outlined practical solutions and discussed how they can potentially solve the problems, demonstrating a clear understanding of the issue.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • overcrowding
  • infrastructure
  • resources
  • traffic congestion
  • vehicle emissions
  • industrial activities
  • noise pollution
  • amenities
  • stress
  • mental health
  • public services
  • sanitation
  • rapid growth
  • urbanization
  • sustainable development
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