In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?
Nowadays, the number of people who live in cities
are
increasing Correct subject-verb agreement
is
due to
existing
of welfare services and entertainment facilities. In the majority of countries around the world, people are emigrating from village to city. Replace the word
the existence
Although
,
It seems to me that it can be a negative development, In Remove the comma
apply
this
essay I will explore the aspects and give my opinion.
To embark on, one of the negative aspects is that moving individuals from rural to city
is derived from(derives) industrial revolution, which means the foundation of more factories and big companies needs more labourer, which causes young workforce Add an article
the city
become
lower in the rurales. Add the particle
to become
Subsequently
, by the following decades, the amount of crops will have been low and even rare, also
, it can influences
the amount of Change the verb form
influence
producing
dairy products Verb problem
apply
due to
decreasing
of young people in the villages.
Another drawback is that Replace the word
the decrease
population
of towns is going up rapidly which Correct article usage
the population
this
action brings harmful problems, such
as increasing of
unemployment, Change preposition
apply
slum
and needy persons. Fix the agreement mistake
slums
In other words
, managing cities has become more difficult due to
increasing
Correct article usage
the increasing
populating
of towns. Replace the word
population
Accordingly
, the number of rurales
inhabitants are falling and the villages will have been removed gradually, Correct your spelling
rural
also
worth cultures will have been removed by
following years.
All in all, as can be seen from the points in Change preposition
in
this
essay, moving from rural to the cities not only is it
harmful, but Correct pronoun usage
apply
also
it is demanding. In my opinion, the governments and barons must make an effort to control these problems, answerable persons should take care and
give some facilities and scoring to the village inhabitants in order to Change preposition
of and
satisfy
.Correct pronoun usage
satisfy them
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task response
Ensure that the introduction clearly states your opinion and what the essay will cover.
task response
Use specific examples to support your points. This adds more depth and relatability to your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving sentence structure and avoiding overly complex sentences that may confuse the reader.
coherence cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear central idea and flows logically to the next. Using transition words can help to achieve this.
task response
The writer addresses the topic and provides a clear opinion on whether the migration from rural areas to cities is a positive or negative development.
coherence cohesion
The essay's structure is clear with distinct paragraphs for each main point, making it easy for the reader to follow.
task response
The essay attempts to explain the consequences of rural depopulation and urban crowding, which are relevant ideas to the topic.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.