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Band 5.5

The plans below show the layout of a university's sports centre now, and how it will look after redevelopment. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

#plans #show #layout #university #sports #centre #redevelopment #information #features #comparisons
The plans illustrate information about the change in the layout of a university's sports centre before and after the improvement. It can be seen that the building will expand and will have different types of facilities added. In the future, reception, pool and seating will not be changed a lot.
However
, changing rooms will increase from one to three.
Also
, the gym will be expanded to the east. There will be a leisure room and changing room
instead
 of left outdoor courts.
Moreover
, they will replace the right-side outdoor courts with a sports hall and two dance studios. These new moms will have a changing room added to the south of them
Additionally
, the entrance of the centre is in the middle of its southern wall. When entering, reception can be seen straight.
Finally
, a sports shop and coffee shop are to be built in the southwest and southeast of the reception area.
Submitted by buyabuya201 on

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coherence
Ensure that the names of all rooms and facilities are consistent. Avoid using different terms for the same element. For example, 'moms' seems to be a typo. Maintaining consistency can improve clarity.
cohesion
Provide a more detailed conclusion summarizing the overall changes and improvements to give a comprehensive end to the report. This will enhance the coherence of the essay.
task response
Although you stated the major changes, some details about the exact locations and nuanced changes can add depth to your response. Try to include smaller yet relevant details.
coherence
Be cautious with wording and ensure clarity in your sentences. For example, rephrase 'These new moms will have a changing room added to the south of them' to ensure it connects clearly with the previous sentences and conveys the intended meaning.
task response
The introduction provides a clear overview of the task and establishes the context effectively.
task response
The mention of specific changes such as the addition of leisure rooms, changing rooms, and expanded gym indicates a good grasp of the major changes.
coherence
Your layout of the paragraph is logical, detailing the changes systematically from various aspects like facilities, rooms, and locations.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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