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Band 1

Young community are often influenced in their behaviours and situations by others of the same age. This is called “peer pressure”. Do the disadvantages outweigh the advantages?

#community #behaviours #situations #age #“peer #pressure”
Young
community
Fix the agreement mistake
communities
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 are often influenced in their behaviours and situations by others of the same age.
This
 is called “peer pressure”. Do the disadvantages outweigh the advantages?
This
Correct pronoun usage
These
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is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 very good questions and
this
 is have good
answer
Fix the agreement mistake
answers
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, let's just say: In thing yes these behaviours are not good for young people,because
it
Correct pronoun usage
there
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 can be too much zinc and they take damage
on
Change preposition
to
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 their souls or that young person be
Change preposition
on campuses
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campuses
Fix the agreement mistake
campus
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.
This
 is absolutely bad for all societies and can damage the people nearby But
this
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
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 has advantages too because it can be erudite teenagers who learn from
experiences
Correct article usage
the experiences
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 of other teenagers and don’t
do
Verb problem
make
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 the same mistakes that they do or if
the
Remove the article
apply
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that young people have good friends the influence in their
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
 can be
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 advantage for them
Submitted by fatemeh1994bahrami on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure your introduction clearly states what you will discuss in the essay.
coherence cohesion
Include a conclusion to summarize your main points and give your final opinion.
coherence cohesion
Organize your ideas into distinct paragraphs for better clarity and flow.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your points, which will strengthen your arguments.
task achievement
Ensure your ideas are clearly and comprehensively explained to avoid any ambiguity.
task achievement
You addressed both the advantages and disadvantages of peer pressure, which is good for task achievement.
task achievement
You identified some key points about peer pressure affecting young people.
task achievement
Your essay touched on important issues related to peer pressure, showing an understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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