Some people say that television is useful for education, while others say it is useful only for entertainment. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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It is commonly argued that watching
television
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brings
the
Correct article usage
apply
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merit for educational aspects,
while
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many people believe that there is only
one
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benefit in terms of beneficial
entertainment
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.
This
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issue offers both advantages and disadvantages, which will be examined in the following paragraphs before the conclusion is reached. First and
formost
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foremost
for most
, it is undeniable that utilizing technological
television
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is prevalent for
entertainment
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benefit
Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
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. Many citizens in the world watch it for their
stressed mitigating
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stress mitigation
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because of their
hard-working
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hard
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or studying determination, which is
one
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of
approaches
Add an article
the approaches
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to be more relief.
For instance
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, people who
has
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have
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a
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apply
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depression
symptom
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symptoms
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, facing
the
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apply
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depressed mental health, can be enjoyable or get better feelings
throughout
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through
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watching variety shows
such
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as some of reality and talent shows.
On the other hand
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, the
one
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of merits side is that watching
television
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can
be supported
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support
show examples
the
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apply
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educational learning. It is true to say that nowadays children and elderly people can stimulate learning various subjects by watching
television
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such
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as
the
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apply
show examples
societal
documentary
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documentaries
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, which enhances
about
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apply
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historical knowledge and backgrounds.
And
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One
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one
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more clear example is that watching
cartoon
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cartoons
show examples
can be acknowledged among teenagers, resulting
to
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in to
show examples
improve
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improved
show examples
an
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apply
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English skills of audiences,
such
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as Peppa Pig.
This
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could be
obtain
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obtaining
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both
entertainment
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and knowledge at the same time. In conclusion,
this
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statement has both benefit facets for audiences, which the usages for
entertainment
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and education can be linked to together
such
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as concurrent watching cartoon like Peppa Pig, that can cause not only for
entertainment
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but
also
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educationcal
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educational
enhancement.
However
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, in my perspective, it depends on the purpose of
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the audiences
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audiences
Fix the agreement mistake
audience
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.
Submitted by arunrak.wk on

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task achievement
Your introduction lays out the topic well and mentions that you will discuss both sides. However, avoid generic phrases like 'This issue offers both advantages and disadvantages' and directly state your plan. For example, 'This essay will discuss both the educational and entertainment merits of television.'
task achievement
Your conclusion ties in nicely with the essay but could be stronger. You mentioned that the benefits for both education and entertainment can be linked together through cartoons like Peppa Pig. Instead of saying 'it depends on the purpose of audiences,' summarize the main points more robustly.
coherence cohesion
Work on maintaining grammatical accuracy and sentence structure. Phrases like 'the merit for educational aspects' or 'can be acknowledged among teenagers' are somewhat awkward. Focus on clarity and simplicity in your language to make your points more effectively.
task achievement
You provide specific examples like reality shows for entertainment and Peppa Pig for educational purposes, which vividly illustrate your points.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs for both views, and a conclusion. This makes it easy to follow your arguments.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • educational programs
  • informative documentaries
  • interactive learning
  • entertaining content
  • reality shows
  • cartoons
  • intellectual development
  • parental guidance
  • screen time
  • creative thinking
  • educational potential
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