IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The pie charts below show the online shopping sales for retail sectors in New Zealand in 2003 and 2013. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparison where relevant.

The pie charts below show the online shopping sales for retail sectors in New Zealand in 2003 and 2013. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparison where relevant.
#show #sales #sectors #zealand #information #features #comparison
The both
Remove the article
Both
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 charts present the proportion
about
Change preposition
of
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 retail
sales
 in terms of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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online shopping
in particular
New
Change preposition
in New
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 Zealand in the
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
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 2003 and 2013.
Overall
, there were four types of retail
sales
 via online
platform
Fix the agreement mistake
platforms
show examples
. In 2003,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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travel
sales
 were the highest purchased among other categories and selling books was the lowest percentage.
However
,
music
Correct article usage
the music
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 and film industry
was
Verb problem
had
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a
Change the article
the
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 highest
sales
 in
2013
Correct article usage
the 2013
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 period, but it turned out that clothes
was
Change the verb form
were
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 bought at the lowest proportion. In 2003,
while
 selling books was a minority percentage, there was a slight increase
by
Change preposition
of
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 3
percent
 in 2013.
Moreover
, there
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
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dramatically
Replace the word
a dramatic
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 increase in
film
Correct article usage
the film
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 and music category from 21 to 33
percentage
Replace the word
per cent
show examples
 in
decade
Correct article usage
the decade
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. With retail sectors of travel shopping, there was a minimal reduction during that ten years, from 36 to
exact
Change the word
exactly
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 29
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
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.
In addition
, clothes sold around 24
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in 2003, and it slightly reduced by 9
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in the next 10 years.
Submitted by arunrak.wk on

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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words sales, percent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slight" was used 2 times.
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