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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Demand for food is increasing worldwide. What are the causes of this topic? What measures can the international community take to meet this demand?

#demand #food #topic #measures #community
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Food
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demand
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 around the world is growing.
Food
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demand
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 is increasing because of the high population and the economy's growth.
Furthermore
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, there are several solutions to be taken into account to meet the
demand
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.
Firstly
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, the point on why
food
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demand
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 is growing
due to
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 population growth. In many developing
countries
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, families keep having more than two children, compared to families in
developed
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developing
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countries
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 who usually only have one child. Pregnant mothers need to consume a lot of nutritious
food
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 to prevent their children from stunting.
In addition
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, the growth of the economy in a country
also
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 causes a change in
food
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demand
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. In many
countries
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 where people have extra money to spend, they want to have better dining experiences, starting from eating premium ingredients.
Therefore
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, there is a high
demand
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 for high-quality beef from free-range cows or rare
food
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such
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 as caviar. The first solution is encouraging hydroponic farming in smaller houses. People can easily plant a crop as a
food
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 source with a small space in their homes. With the help of online tutorial videos, people can produce several spices. Another way to tackle it is to increase the usage of advanced technology. High-tech farming has been implemented for some time, meaning the number of
labor
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labour
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 can be reduced significantly.
Thus
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, at the same time, the farm can harvest more crops to be exported to other
countries
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. In conclusion, There are several reasons why
food
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demand
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 keeps increasing.
Therefore
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, the way to
fulfill
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fulfil
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 the
demand
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 is by increasing the advanced technology in small and large-scale farming.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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task achievement
To improve task response, ensure you address both causes and measures equally, providing more depth and comprehensiveness.
coherence cohesion
Enhance coherence by improving the transitions between paragraphs and ensuring each argument logically follows from the previous one.
coherence cohesion
For better cohesion, try to use a wider variety of linking words and phrases to connect your ideas more seamlessly.
task achievement
Your essay clearly states the causes of increased food demand and offers some solutions to tackle the issue.
task achievement
The use of specific examples, such as hydroponic farming and high-tech farming, strengthens the relevance of your solutions.
coherence cohesion
You have included both an introduction and a conclusion that summarize the main points of your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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