The car is a disastrous 20th Century invention that has made the world's cities more dangerous and polluted, as well as being responsible for the deaths of millions of people in accidents. Do your agree or disagree?
All around
in
the cities, Change preposition
apply
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
is
Wrong verb form
have been
common
transportation that started in Correct article usage
a common
20th
century until now. Change the article
the 20th
However
, it gave
bad Verb problem
had
effectlike
Correct your spelling
effects
pollution
and
Correct word choice
apply
manu
Correct your spelling
many
accidents
and the death of million
Fix the agreement mistake
millions
people
. I agree with the statement because more disadvantages Change preposition
of people
Change preposition
to
from
using Change preposition
to
car
.
Actually, cars as Add an article
the car
a car
trasnportation
has Correct your spelling
transportation
positive
impact Correct article usage
a positive
such
as help
many Wrong verb form
helping
people
can fast moving
from one area to Wrong verb form
move
other
Correct quantifier usage
another
aream
it can reduce Correct your spelling
areas
area
Correct article usage
the amoint
amoint
and it makes Correct your spelling
amount
people
more effective and efficience
. In fact, the Correct your spelling
efficient
efficiency
safteyu
depends on the driver. If the driver good use transportation so can make Correct your spelling
safety
safye
on the way. Correct your spelling
safe
Usuallu
, the Correct your spelling
Usually
accidents
doing
when the driver Verb problem
occur
very
tired Add a missing verb
is very
such
as sleepy.
However
, more disadvantages form tge
Correct your spelling
the
car
. Firstly
, using fuel as Correct article usage
an alwaus
alwaus
increase can bad Correct your spelling
always
effecy
to Correct your spelling
effect
enviroment
. Correct your spelling
environment
Other
Change the wording
Another
affect
is Correct your spelling
effect
polluyion
that Correct your spelling
pollution
also
does
not good for Verb problem
is
people
health in many Change noun form
people's
case
not few Change to a plural noun
cases
has
bad Correct subject-verb agreement
have
experience
Fix the agreement mistake
experiences
for
their breath. The second reason is Change preposition
with
Correct article usage
the increase
increase
amount of Replace the word
increased
vehicle
and Fix the agreement mistake
vehicles
also
make
the very crowded Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
an
Correct your spelling
and
pollution
is abundant. Not just
that, amount of Rephrase
only
accidents
also
increased. Other
reason is Change the wording
Another
individualisme
and Correct your spelling
individualism
gap
in society. Correct article usage
the gap
For example
, almost private
cars have to fill for 4 Correct determiner usage
all private
until
6 Change preposition
to
peoples
but just fill by 2 or 1 Fix the agreement mistake
people
people
so can makes
more crowded and Wrong verb form
make
pollution
. If in society, car
is a rich Add an article
the car
a car
people
stmbol
and Correct your spelling
symbol
make
a gap both of rich and poor person. Verb problem
creates
The fourth
, many Correct article usage
Fourth
people
as drivers do not have legal car
to drive so Fix the agreement mistake
cars
that is
become
Verb problem
apply
cause
Correct subject-verb agreement
causes
of
Change preposition
apply
the
more Correct article usage
apply
accidents
in the way.
In my conclusion, the Government need to make a decision especially
about Add the comma(s)
, especially
minimum
member each Correct article usage
the minimum
car
on the way so can decreased
Wrong verb form
decrease
pollution
and amount of accidents
.Submitted by writingbersama on
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grammar
Work on your grammatical accuracy. Many sentences contain basic grammatical errors which detract from the clarity of your ideas.
vocabulary
Improve your vocabulary usage. Using more varied and precise vocabulary can help convey your ideas more effectively.
task response
Ensure that your main ideas are clearly stated and supported with specific examples or arguments. This will strengthen your task achievement score.
task response
Your essay attempts to provide both sides of the argument, which shows a good understanding of essay structure.
coherence cohesion
Including a conclusion is important, and you have done this. It rounds off your essay and addresses the initial question.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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