The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

#process #sugar #cane #summarise #information #features #comparisons

The pictogram here illustrates how

sugar

is made from

sugar

cane

through 7 steps, those are growing, harvesting, crushing, purifying, evaporation, centrifugal, drying and cooling.

Overall

, the whole process can be

devided

Correct your spelling

divided

into two sections,

firstly

from

sugar

cane

juice

secondly

Correct word choice

and secondly

show examples

from

juice

sugar

. The process begins with the farming of

sugar

cane

in the field. It takes 12-18 months for

sugar

cane

to be prepared for harvesting. After that time

period

Add a comma

period,

show examples

it is harvested, either by manual labour or by industrial extractor.

Then

it is put into

crusher

Add an article

a crusher

show examples

after cleaning and trimming. From

crusher

Add an article

the crusher

show examples

juice

Add an article

the juice

show examples

is extracted in a collection pot. The liquid

juice

then

run through a limestone filter in order to purify it, which

then

Add a missing verb

is then

show examples

put in a

boilar

Correct your spelling

boiler

boil

in high temperature in order to transform it into syrup. The syrup goes to a centrifugal chamber where it is separated from

sugar

crystals. The

sugar

crystals are collected for drying and cooling in a pot. The dried and cooled crystals are

finally

ready to be used as

sugar

Submitted by mostakahmedfaysal on Fri May 31 2024

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.

Introduction: The chart intro is missing.

▼

Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.

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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.

▼

Introduction: The chart intro is missing.

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words sugar, cane, juice with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Only 1 basic words for charts were used.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.

▼

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

174 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

manufacturing process
sugar cane
harvesting
transporting
factory
crushing
extracting
juice
filtering
impurities
heating
evaporating
syrup
boiling
crystallizing
sugar
separating
drying
packaging
distribution
stage
process

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The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Topic: People now have the freedom to work and live anywhere in the world due to the development of communication technology and transportation. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Employee should give its staff at least four weeks holiday a year to make employees better at their job. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

In the future all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless. The only people travelling inside these vehicles will be passengers. Do you think the advantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages?

A person's worth nowadays, seems to be judged according to social statues and material possession. Old- fashion values such as honor, kindness and trust no longer seem important. Do what extent do you agree or disagree ?

Some people think that men anh women have different qualities, therefore certain jobs are suitable for men and others for women. To what extent do you agree or disagree?