In many countries, an increase in crime has been blamed on violent images on television and in computer games. To what extend do you agree or disagree
In the contemporary era, it is said that the content with violent
scenes
have
dominated crowds to commit more and more crimes as the years pass through. As inappropriate TV shows are illustrated throughout flatforms entire world, it induces Correct subject-verb agreement
has
people
to do more illegal actions
. This
essay will explain my opinion as I completely agree with the statement with
some specific reasons.
Change preposition
for
To begin
with, while
producers and scrip writers work on their stories, they mainly focus on attracting people
to their content so that they can gain popularity and budget. Hence
, they use violent actions
during their movies so that influencers would
watch, judge, and explain the movie to crowds about how the movie was through online platforms and face-to-face communication. Verb problem
can
For example
, “Wrong
Turn” horror movie which has plenty of violent Correct article usage
the “Wrong
scenes
was not popular because of its low quality until influencers reviewed it and dominated people
to watch it and share their opinions with them.
On the other hand
, most violent movies include some scenes
with illegal actions
, namely gangsterism to interact teenagers
with Change preposition
with teenagers
its
inappropriate and feel-cool Correct pronoun usage
apply
scenes
that affect the development of teenagers
and commit it
to Correct pronoun usage
apply
look
cool. Wrong verb form
looking
For instance
, the rate of bully among teenagers
in the
Mongolia has increased among Correct article usage
apply
teenagers
because of plenty of bullying movies and content showing up through platforms.
To sum up
, to gain more popularity and budget, it is undeniably true that their selfish methods always induce people
to wrong
Add a missing verb
do wrong
actions
.Submitted by nazim200709 on
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coherence cohesion
Work on improving the logical flow between your paragraphs to enhance the overall coherence of your essay. Focus on using transition words and phrases to create smoother transitions.
task achievement
Some of your examples could be more specific and relevant. Make sure that the examples you choose are clearly linked to your main points and develop them fully.
general
There are a few minor grammatical errors that slightly impede clarity. Proofread your essay or use grammar checking tools to catch and correct these.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction is clear and sets the stage well for the essay. It provides a good overview of what the essay will cover.
task achievement
You make a clear, complete response to the prompt and your position on the issue is unmistakable.
task achievement
You provide relevant and specific examples to support your arguments, which helps to clarify your points.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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