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Band 5

Some people think that the modern communication technology is having a negative effect on social relaionships. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #communication #technology #effect #relaionships
A controversial discussion point is whether social associations are adversely influenced by digital
communication
method
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methods
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.
This
 writer disagrees with
this
 statement
due to
 immediate
communication
 and expansion of relationships. In light of the proliferation of technology,
people
 tend to desire to have a talk ubiquitously.
In other words
, it is vital to understand that the enhancement of technology has transcended the geographical barriers worldwide catering to capabilities to connect with others.
Therefore
, individuals not only could save their time
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but
also
 gain more opportunities to interact, thereby, having a stable relationship.
Consequently
, modern digital applications can improve relations among residents.
For instance
, during the COVID-19 pandemic, when
people
 are restricted
to go
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from going
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 outside,
therefore
, social
medias
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media
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such
 as Facebook or Instagram provide them
a
Add the preposition
with a
show examples
convenient and immediate method to contact
with
Change preposition
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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others. Another factor worth considering is the ability to expand
connection
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connections
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 widely
of
Change preposition
in
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 modern
communication
. Specifically, it is evident that social
medias
Correct your spelling
media
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 enable users to globally interact with other
people
 catering to an environment that
create
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creates
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 and
strengthen
Correct subject-verb agreement
strengthens
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 their relationships.
As a result
, if
people
 stay in contact with friends, they will be likely to immerse in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
conversations which might be relaxed and entertained. Taking Japan as an example, where 64% of introverted students have started to interact more with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
due to
communication
 through digital
platform
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platforms
show examples
. Taking everything into account, modern
communication
 technology positively affects residents’ relations attributable to instant
communication
 and
enhance
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enhances
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 relationships.
Thus
, utilizing
in
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it in
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a
Correct article usage
the
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 right way will help
human
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humans
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, not
harming
Wrong verb form
harm
show examples
 them.
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task achievement
Ensure all points presented in the essay are thoroughly explained and supported to present a balanced argument.
coherence cohesion
Organize your paragraphs with clear topic sentences and logical connectors to ensure a smooth flow of ideas.
introduction conclusion present
Your essay includes a well-defined introduction and conclusion, which effectively summarize your argument.
relevant specific examples
Relevant examples, such as the example of social media usage during the COVID-19 pandemic, are effectively used to support your main points.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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