In some societies, the role of a mother differs in some ways from the role of a father. Why do you think these differences exist? How might the parental role develop in the future?
There are some differences in the dividing in
roles
between mothers and father
in many communities in the world. The reasons could be Fix the agreement mistake
fathers
due to
different cultural prospectives
leading to Correct your spelling
perspectives
vary
in expectations from the respective Replace the word
variations
roles
, and the ways women
and men
differ in both physical and mental characteristics also
contribute deeply to how each parent function
in a family. In the future, Correct subject-verb agreement
functions
the
parental Correct article usage
apply
roles
will be projected to change significantly, with more females entering the workforce in the future.
It is observed that different cultures will emoloy
different mindsets on genders' Correct your spelling
employ
roles
, and it especially is obvious in building a family. In some groups of population
, Add an article
the population
women
are taught to stay at home, nurturing the children and doing choirs, whereas
men
are expected to develop professionally and be the main breadwinners. It is still the case for
various Asian countries, Change preposition
in
such
as Japan, in which women
are asked to quit their jobs after getting married so that they could
devote their time Wrong verb form
can
for
their families.
Change preposition
to
Moreover
, many believe that owing to the differences in physical abilities, women
are less able to tackle heavy and serious work. From ancients time
, Fix the agreement mistake
ancient times
women
were more vulnerable and required the protection of men
. For example
, while
men
would go out to hunt for food, women
would stay at home, planting and taking care of their offsprings
. Fix the agreement mistake
offspring
This
behavior
has been rooted for generations, Change the spelling
behaviour
therefore
many still apply the concept nowadays.
Nevetheless
, parental Correct your spelling
Nevertheless
roles
are predicted to change significantly in the future, giving
how Replace the word
given
advance
mankind has become. It is expected that our societies are approaching Replace the word
advanced
an
equality between both genders as more females are observed to enter the workforce, Remove the article
apply
while
a noticeable number of males are staying at home for domestic pursposes
Correct your spelling
purposes
..
In conclusion, Replace the punctuation
.
...
due to
cultural relativism and genetic predisposition, men
and women
share different domestic roles
. However
, as our modernisation progresses, the roles
are expected to come to a state of equality between both genders.Submitted by kimtruong270192 on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure all ideas are clearly organized and logically connected throughout your essay. While each paragraph addresses a relevant point, the transition between points can be smoother.
task achievement
Be mindful of minor grammatical errors and typos, such as 'choirs' (should be 'chores') and 'emoloy' (should be 'employ'). These small mistakes can slightly alter the readability and perceived quality of your writing.
task achievement
Although your points are generally supported with examples, make sure all examples are fully developed and clearly tie back to the main argument. This will strengthen your task response and coherence.
coherence cohesion
Your essay successfully addresses the prompt with a clear introduction and conclusion, summarizing the main points and providing closure to your argument.
task achievement
You provided relevant examples that effectively support your main arguments, such as cultural expectations in Japan and historical gender roles in terms of physical abilities.
coherence cohesion
Your ideas are presented in a logical order, and each paragraph discusses different aspects of the topic, showing a good level of organization.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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