IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The line graphs below show the subscriptions to mobile and fixed phone lines in four different countries between 2005 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The line graphs below show the subscriptions to mobile and fixed phone lines in four different countries between 2005 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
#line #graphs #show #subscriptions #phone #lines #four #countries #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The line charts illustrate information about the
number
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
 registered for mobile and landline phones in
Uruguay
Use synonyms
, India, UK, And
Uruguay
Use synonyms
 from 2005 to 2015.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 the
number
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 of mobile
subscription
Fix the agreement mistake
subscriptions
show examples
 for mobile phones in
Uruguay
Use synonyms
 increased throughout the period,
while
Linking Words
 Eritrea stayed stable.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the
number
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 of
landlines
Change the noun form
landline
show examples
 subscriptions in all four countries stayed stable during the given period with the highest for
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
.
According to
Linking Words
 the first graph,
Uruguay
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 had the highest
number
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 of mobile phone
registration
Fix the agreement mistake
registrations
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
100 in 2005,
Linking Words
whereas
Correct word choice
which
show examples
 increased slightly to around 130 in 2015. The UK,
on the other hand
Linking Words
, started at less than 50 subscribers per 100
people
Use synonyms
 in 2005, but showed a significant growth in 2013 about 160, followed by a slight decrease to 150.
In contrast
Linking Words
, Eritrea and India had zero mobile subscriptions from 2005 until 2007, which witnessed a sharp increase in Indian subscribers to reach a peak of around 70 in 2015,
while
Linking Words
 Erteira stayed at the same
number
Use synonyms
 of zero during the period. Turning to the second graph,
people
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 in the United Kingdom subscribed in fixed line in 2005 nearly 60 per 100
people
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 and stayed relatively at the same
number
Use synonyms
 with a slight decrease to 50 in 2015.
Uruguay
Use synonyms
 had kept the
number
Use synonyms
 around 30 through the ten years. India and Eritrea had almost zero subscriptions from 2005 to 2015.
Submitted by nidaa_hamed on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "in contrast, while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, people, uruguay with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stayed" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stable" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 3 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • subscriptions
  • mobile phone
  • fixed phone lines
  • trends
  • increases
  • decreases
  • comparisons
  • features
  • noticeable
  • patterns
  • socio-economic factors
  • technological advancements
  • anomalies
  • highest
  • lowest
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