IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below show the percentage of male and female workers in country A and country B. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below show the percentage of male and female workers in country A and country B. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
#show #percentage #workers #country #b #information #features #comparisons
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The presented data provides a graphic illustration
on
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of
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 the proportion of
male
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males
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 and
female
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females
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 in three sectors of
service
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, agriculture, and industry in two different countries. A general look at the pie charts shows that the dominant area of work ,regardless of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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gender and country, is
service
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. Studying country A,
it is clear that
Linking Words
service
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 is the most popular work amongst both men and
women
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 with 56 and 49 per cent respectively. The second most liked job is the
agricultural
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agriculture
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 where
women
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 play a more significant role with 43% compared to men with 29%.
Lastly
Linking Words
,
male-workers
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male workers
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 take over the
inustry
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industry
 with 15% which is almost double the percentage for
women
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. Country
B
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however
Linking Words
, depicts a massive difference regarding the figure for agricultural workers. In
B
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 only 1 per cent of
women
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 and 3 per cent of men
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
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work on farms. Comparing
industry
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industries
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 in A and
B
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, it is obvious that
B
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 is more male-dominant with 32% male and 11% female
emplyees
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employees
in contrast
Linking Words
 to
service
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Linking Words
that
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apply
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is more
female centered
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female-centered
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 with 88%.
Overall
Linking Words
, there is a consistency in the popularity of
service
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 across both studied countries in
contrary
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contrast
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 to agriculture and industry being less and more
prevelant
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prominent
 in
B
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.
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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words service, women, b with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • percentage
  • gender employment rate
  • workforce
  • disparity
  • employment trend
  • notable difference
  • counterpart
  • demographic
  • labor market
  • sector
  • predominantly
  • employment rate
  • analysis
  • comparative study
  • statistical data
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