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Band 5.5

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 203 and 2040.

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 203 and 2040.
#information #percentage #population #four #asian #countries #cities #predictions
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The given line graph illustrates the proportion of
the
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apply
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citizens who lived in cities in different Asian nations between 1970 and 2020 and the predictions from 2030 to 2040.
Overall
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, it can be seen that the residents in Malaysia and Indonesia had merely changed all over the timeframe,
whereas
Linking Words
Use synonyms
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
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Add the comma(s)
, as well as Thailand,
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as well as
Linking Words
Thailand
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 saw an increase but not much like the others.
In addition
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, it should
also
Linking Words
 be noted how Indonesia exceeded
Thailand
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 and
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Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
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, becoming the country which the citizens rate
in
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rank 2 in the line graph. Regarding the 2 countries which had a big difference. About Malaysia, it began with 30% in 1970 and
then
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 rose gradually from 30% to 45% in 1990.
Furthermore
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, it increased dramatically between 1990 and 2040, reaching approximately 84%
at the end
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 of the period, making it the
top
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country which had the highest citizens of the four.
Likewise
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, Indonesia was the lowest country,
however
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, it rose slightly from 13% to 26% between 1970 and 2000,
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then
Correct word choice
and then
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 it grew
up
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considerably,
exceeded
Wrong verb form
exceeding
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Thailand
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 and
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Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
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 by 2000 and 2010, respectively. In 2010, it continued increasing sharply, ending with more than 60%. Taking a look at the other countries, the population who lived in cities in
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Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
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 increased gradually from 1970 to 1990, reaching a peak
with
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of
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 nearly 50% and
then
Linking Words
 dropped significantly in 2010, got nearly 55%
at the end
Linking Words
 of the timeframe. Meanwhile,
about
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in
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Thailand
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, it rose sharply between 19% and 28% from 1970 to 1990. By 1990, it fluctuated to 2020
then
Linking Words
 suddenly increased, ending
with
Change preposition
at
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 50%.
Submitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "at the end".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words philippines, thailand with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "gradually" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • graph
  • percentage
  • population
  • Asian countries
  • living in cities
  • 1970
  • 2020
  • predictions
  • 2030
  • 2040
  • introduction
  • overview
  • trend
  • body paragraph
  • compare
  • predicted percentages
  • summarize
  • closing statement
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