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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

the flow chart illustrates the developement of a frog from egg during its life cycle.

the flow chart illustrates the developement of a frog from egg during its life cycle.
The diagram indicates the life
cycle
Use synonyms
 of a
frog
Use synonyms
 and the development of
it's
Replace the word
its
show examples
 egg.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
frog
Use synonyms
's life
cycle
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 is a six-stage, natural,
cylical
Correct your spelling
cyclical
 process that begins and ends with the mating of two frogs and
this
Linking Words
cycle
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 continues.
This
Linking Words
cycle
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 starts with two frogs having intercourse.
Then
Linking Words
 the female
frog
Use synonyms
 releases some eggs into the water. The eggs are known as spawns.
Next,
Linking Words
each of these spawns turns into a small
tadpole
Use synonyms
. It is worth noticing that, the initial
tadpole
Use synonyms
is
Verb problem
apply
show examples
just
consisted
Wrong verb form
consists
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 of a head and a
tale
Correct your spelling
tail
show examples
 and it can swim through the water.
Subsequently
Linking Words
, the
tadpole
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 grows up and as
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 result of
it's
Replace the word
its
show examples
 growth,
the
Change the word
its
show examples
 length
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
increases.
Moreover
Linking Words
, as growing,
it's
Replace the word
its
show examples
 feet
pops
Change the verb form
pop
show examples
 out of
it's
Replace the word
its
show examples
 body. As the process progresses, the secondary
tadpole
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 converts to a young
frog
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. It is
noticable
Correct your spelling
noticeable
 that the young
frog
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 still has a tale. Eventually, with transforming the young
frog
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to
Change preposition
into
show examples
 a mature one, the tale disappears.
Finally
Linking Words
, the adult
frog
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 swims
bach
Correct your spelling
back
show examples
 to the surface of the
wate
Correct your spelling
water
 to
prepetuate
Correct your spelling
perpetuate
 the
cycle
Use synonyms
.

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words cycle, frog, tadpole with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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