IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

You have been doing some voluntary work to help your local community. However, now you are unable to continue doing this work. Write a letter to the manager of the organisation where you have been working. In your letter -Describe the work you have been doing -Explain why you can no longer do this work -Recommend another person who is interested in the work

#work #community #manager #organisation #-describe #-explain #-recommend #person
Dear I am writing a letter to you
give
Fix the infinitive
to give
show examples
 information, yesterday I got an offer of
job
Correct article usage
a job
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another
Change preposition
from another
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 company and
Iam
Correct your spelling
I am
 sending
letter
Add an article
a letter
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 to give me
permisson
Correct your spelling
permission
 to out of here.
Two
Change preposition
For two
show examples
 days, I have to do for charity and give my
time
 to ask another
society
 in my hometown and ask
money
Change preposition
for money
show examples
 from the
society
 and ask
whatever
Change preposition
for whatever
show examples
their
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 have. I am out of here because want to work
for got
Change preposition
to get
show examples
 a lot of money and make my family
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
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happy. As we know
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
charity can not give income and spend my
time
 just
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 help another
society
 who
needs
Correct pronoun usage
needs it
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. I can't
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
stay
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
here
because
Correct word choice
apply
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for a long
time
 because need income to
get
Verb problem
apply
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buy food and basic needs.
The
Correct article usage
Society
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society
 must attention
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
they
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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 to get
salary
Correct article usage
a salary
show examples
 and
can
Verb problem
apply
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buy all
Correct article usage
the family
show examples
family
Change noun form
family's
show examples
 needs I have a friend to change my position
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
here. Its name
Add a missing verb
is awan
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awan
Change the capitalization
Awan
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. Maybe he
want
Change the verb form
wants
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 to work for
long
Change the article
a long
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time
. In conclusion,
The
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
 must give
many
Replace the quantifier
much
show examples
 attention
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
Add an article
the family
a family
show examples
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
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 because they can not
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
survive
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
future
Correct article usage
the future
show examples
 without a job and
get
Wrong verb form
getting
show examples
 payroll.
Submitted by patricius.yohanes on

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suitable writing tone
Use more formal and polite language, especially since you are addressing a manager. This can make your letter more professional and respectful.
logical structure
Make sure your sentences and ideas flow smoothly by using connecting words and phrases. This helps the reader follow your message clearly.
complete response
You have covered all the necessary points: describing your work, explaining why you can no longer do it, and recommending another person.
greeting and closing
You ended the letter with a conclusion, summarizing your main point which is good for closure.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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