The number of people being sent to prison is increasing year by year. While some people believe prison is the best way to tackle crime, others suggest that community service is more successful.” Discuss both views.

#people #prison #year #crime #community #service

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Nowadays there are plenty of people who are sent to

jail

and

also

rising in numbers.

In addition

, to overcome

this

crime, some of them believe

prison

is the most effective way.

Otherwise

, the

community

could tackle those crimes.

To begin

with, the majority of them believe

prison

is the best way to reduce crime. In

prison

, police and security will manage entire circumstances in

prison

. Most of them will trapped in

this

kind of place and no longer depend on criminalcrime activity. Without fresh air limited views are the major reasons and people will

also

frustrated inside the

jail

In addition

, limited access to meeting their family and friends would be more stressful for them. On a daily basis, they frequently meet and talk with their father or son,

however

, the frequency level will decrease from normal life.

Moreover

, various people inside the

jail

may

also

bother them. There is a

community

also

Correct pronoun usage

that also

show examples

having

Wrong verb form

has

show examples

a leader

and

Correct word choice

who

show examples

absolutely will

bullying for

Wrong verb form

bully

show examples

newcomer

Fix the agreement mistake

newcomers

show examples

Thus

, it will impact their psychological aspect or even worse.

On the other hand

, advocates of

community

service argue that it can be a more effective and humane approach to dealing with certain types of crime, particularly non-violent offences.

Community

service aims to integrate offenders back into society by engaging them in meaningful work that benefits the

community

To conclude

, sending them to

jail

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

making them give up

such

as limiting

Change preposition

apply

show examples

view, having no fresh air, and getting bullied by others are the significant reason for them.

Otherwise

, communities

served to

Verb problem

should

show examples

have a different way to tackle

this

problem

such

as engaging them with meaningful activities.

Submitted by rifki.lufthansa on Sat Jun 01 2024

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task achievement

Your essay addresses both views of the issue, but the arguments could be more fully developed. It’s crucial to delve deeper into why prison or community service might be effective and include more specific examples to support your points.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea, and use topic sentences to guide the reader. Work on improving the flow between ideas and paragraphs for better coherence.

task achievement

Try to elaborate more on the examples and reasons you provide to make your argument more convincing. Introducing specific cases or evidence would strengthen your essay significantly.

coherence cohesion

You have structured your essay with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which is a solid approach.

task achievement

Your essay makes a genuine attempt to address both sides of the argument, which is commendable.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

6.5

Logical structure

6.5

Introduction & conclusion present

5.5

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

6.5

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

5.5

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

7 paragraphs

271 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Deterrence
Retribution
Rehabilitation
Recidivism
Vocational training
Cost-effectiveness
Sentencing
Offenders
Justice system
Community integration

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The number of people being sent to prison is increasing year by year. While some people believe prison is the best way to tackle crime, others suggest that community service is more successful.” Discuss both views.

Fully explain your ideas

Government should spend tax money on public libraries rather than public transportation improvements. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for sport or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sportsperson or musician. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation,such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money.otgers argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Give your opinion.

In future, people may no longer be able to pay for things in shops using cash. All payments may have to be made by card or using phones. Do you think this will happen one day ? Why do you think some people might not be happy to give up using cash?

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification.