The number of people being sent to prison is increasing year by year. While some people believe prison is the best way to tackle crime, others suggest that community service is more successful.” Discuss both views.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Nowadays there are plenty of people who are sent to

jail

Use synonyms

and

also

Linking Words

rising in numbers.

In addition

Linking Words

, to overcome

this

Linking Words

crime, some of them believe

prison

Use synonyms

is the most effective way.

Otherwise

Linking Words

, the

community

Use synonyms

could tackle those crimes.

To begin

Linking Words

with, the majority of them believe

prison

Use synonyms

is the best way to reduce crime. In

prison

Use synonyms

, police and security will manage entire circumstances in

prison

Use synonyms

. Most of them will trapped in

this

Linking Words

kind of place and no longer depend on criminalcrime activity. Without fresh air limited views are the major reasons and people will

also

Linking Words

frustrated inside the

jail

Use synonyms

In addition

Linking Words

, limited access to meeting their family and friends would be more stressful for them. On a daily basis, they frequently meet and talk with their father or son,

however

Linking Words

, the frequency level will decrease from normal life.

Moreover

Linking Words

, various people inside the

jail

Use synonyms

may

also

Linking Words

bother them. There is a

community

Use synonyms

Linking Words

also

Correct pronoun usage

that also

show examples

having

Wrong verb form

has

show examples

a leader

and

Correct word choice

who

show examples

absolutely will

bullying for

Wrong verb form

bully

show examples

newcomer

Fix the agreement mistake

newcomers

show examples

Thus

Linking Words

, it will impact their psychological aspect or even worse.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, advocates of

community

Use synonyms

service argue that it can be a more effective and humane approach to dealing with certain types of crime, particularly non-violent offences.

Community

Use synonyms

service aims to integrate offenders back into society by engaging them in meaningful work that benefits the

community

Use synonyms

To conclude

Linking Words

, sending them to

jail

Use synonyms

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

making them give up

such

Linking Words

as limiting

Change preposition

apply

show examples

view, having no fresh air, and getting bullied by others are the significant reason for them.

Otherwise

Linking Words

, communities

served to

Verb problem

should

show examples

have a different way to tackle

this

Linking Words

problem

such

Linking Words

as engaging them with meaningful activities.

rifki.lufthansaSat Jun 01 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Your essay addresses both views of the issue, but the arguments could be more fully developed. It’s crucial to delve deeper into why prison or community service might be effective and include more specific examples to support your points.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea, and use topic sentences to guide the reader. Work on improving the flow between ideas and paragraphs for better coherence.

task achievement

Try to elaborate more on the examples and reasons you provide to make your argument more convincing. Introducing specific cases or evidence would strengthen your essay significantly.

coherence cohesion

You have structured your essay with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which is a solid approach.

task achievement

Your essay makes a genuine attempt to address both sides of the argument, which is commendable.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

6.5

Logical structure

6.5

Introduction & conclusion present

5.5

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

6.5

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

5.5

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

7 paragraphs

271 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

Deterrence
Retribution
Rehabilitation
Recidivism
Vocational training
Cost-effectiveness
Sentencing
Offenders
Justice system
Community integration

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7.5
band
Numerous animal species worldwide are currently facing extinction. Some argue that countries and individuals should prioritize protecting these animals, while others believe resources should be focused more on human issues. Discuss both views and give your own opinion?
In this day and age, several species are on the verge of extinction due to numerous reasons such as the diminishing of natural habitats and illegal poaching. While many people believe that nations all around the world and people should consider protecting biodiversity as their top priority, others claim that such effort and resources should be directed at solving existing domestic problems. The following essay is going to discuss both views and share my opinion about the given statement.
7
band
In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railwaw lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
In some parts of the world, it is argued that governments should focus on spending money to construct new railway lines that can accommodate high-speed trains between cities, while others believe that the funds are better spent on modernizing existing transport services. Personally, I believe that building new railway systems is more beneficial in the long term.
6.5
band
In the past, people stored knowledge in books. Nowadays people store knowledge on the internet. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?
In recent decades, there is a rapid growth in the number of users of online libraries. Some scholars and authors believe that it is convenient and accessible to record their achievements on websites, and I firmly agree with this point of view.
6.5
band
Many people believe that the high levels of violence in films today are causing serious social problems. What are these problems and how can they be solved?
Many individuals believe that the high levels of hostility in films today are causing significant problems in society. In this essay, I will shed light on the problems and solutions to this hypothesis.
6.5
band
Some people believe that in order to give opportunities to new generation companies should encourage high level employess who are older than 55 to retire. Do you agree or disagree? Why.
A considerable number of individuals claim that senior staff of organizations must be retired in some way as the younger generation is likely to be a more influential and eligible work power; however, I can't entirely agree with this notion as I am inclined to believe that elderly employees are precious members of society and must be kept involved.

The number of people being sent to prison is increasing year by year. While some people believe prison is the best way to tackle crime, others suggest that community service is more successful.” Discuss both views.

Fully explain your ideas

Numerous animal species worldwide are currently facing extinction. Some argue that countries and individuals should prioritize protecting these animals, while others believe resources should be focused more on human issues. Discuss both views and give your own opinion?

In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railwaw lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In the past, people stored knowledge in books. Nowadays people store knowledge on the internet. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Many people believe that the high levels of violence in films today are causing serious social problems. What are these problems and how can they be solved?

Some people believe that in order to give opportunities to new generation companies should encourage high level employess who are older than 55 to retire. Do you agree or disagree? Why.