Your local council has decided to close the only park in your town and build a car park in its place. You believe this will have a bad effect on the people who live and work in the town. Write a letter to the mayor. In your letter introduce yourself explain why you think the decision is wrong say what you think the council should do instead

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Dear Mr Kim, I am a resident who

have

Change the verb form

has

show examples

lived in Topayoh since I was born. I found my neighbourhood quite convenient and

tranquail

Correct your spelling

tranquil

throughout the time I live here. I heard that you have decided to

develope

Correct your spelling

develop

our town by building a

carpark

Correct your spelling

car park

in the existing public

park

Use synonyms

Therefore

Linking Words

, I am writing

this

Linking Words

letter to request you,

reconsidering

Change the verb form

to reconsider

show examples

your decision as it is

only

Correct article usage

the only

show examples

public space in the vicinity of our town. Based on my experience,

majority

Correct article usage

the majority

show examples

of residents rely on

this

Linking Words

public

park

Use synonyms

whenever they

want

Add the particle

want to

show examples

do physical exercises and

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

social gatherings.

In addition

Linking Words

playground

Correct article usage

the playground

show examples

in the

park

Use synonyms

has been a favourite spot for children, which is usually crowded with them, especially on their holidays. If

this

Linking Words

essential

park

Use synonyms

for many

resident

Change to a plural noun

residents

show examples

is demolished , they could not find the other places.

Hence

Linking Words

, I would like to suggest an alternative solution, renovating the existing carpark to the multi-storeyed carpark.

As a result

Linking Words

, the

park

Use synonyms

will be affected. I hope that you can understand my

explaination

Correct your spelling

explanation

, and my suggestion will be helpful for your future decision. Best Regards, Aye

ayepwintphyu02Sat Jun 01 2024

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task achievement

In your second paragraph, try to add more specific examples or statistics to strengthen your argument for why the park is essential for residents.

coherence cohesion

Avoid minor grammatical errors. For instance, 'residents who have lived' should be 'resident who has lived'.

task achievement

It would be good to propose more than one alternative solution to the plan, to provide the council with multiple options to consider.

suitable writing tone

Your greeting and closing are appropriate and polite, setting a formal tone which is suitable for a letter to the mayor.

single idea per paragraph

Each paragraph contains a single idea, making your points clear and understandable.

5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

6 paragraphs

182 words

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