Some people believe that reading stories from a book is more beneficial for children compared to watching TV or playing computer games. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In the present world, there are many types of learning materials. Even though some
children
enjoy reading Use synonyms
books
, some of them prefer learning from animation. It is disagreed that reading stories from a book Use synonyms
brings
more beneficial to Verb problem
is
kids
, Use synonyms
comparing
with watching Wrong verb form
compared
TV
or playing computer Use synonyms
games
, Use synonyms
described
in the following paragraphs.
Correct word choice
as described
Tp
begin with, Correct your spelling
To
children
Use synonyms
defenately
earn benefits from Correct your spelling
definitely
books
Use synonyms
such
as improving reading skills, Linking Words
Correct word choice
and learn
learn
Wrong verb form
learning
Correct article usage
the alphabets
alphabets
and Fix the agreement mistake
alphabet
books
are safer for Use synonyms
kids
. To illustrate, parents can rely on the Use synonyms
kid
Fix the agreement mistake
kids
books
because Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
apply
this
genre of book Linking Words
are
approved Correct subject-verb agreement
is
that
it safe for each Change preposition
to
age-group
of Correct your spelling
age group
children
. Use synonyms
In
Change preposition
On
contrary
, the Correct article usage
the contrary
kids
might feel bored from reading Use synonyms
the
Correct article usage
apply
book
which not up to date and Fix the agreement mistake
books
untempted
stories compared to watching Add a missing verb
have untempted
TV
or playing Use synonyms
games
.
Even though not all Use synonyms
the
Correct article usage
apply
TV
programs or Use synonyms
games
are safe for Use synonyms
kids
, monitoring and choosing the appropriate programs by parents can solve Use synonyms
Linking Words
this
concerns. Correct determiner usage
these
Following
Linking Words
this
, Linking Words
children
will inquire Use synonyms
some
positive influences Change preposition
about some
such
as improving multiple skills both listening Linking Words
skill
and speaking Fix the agreement mistake
skills
skill
by mimicking their Fix the agreement mistake
skills
favorite
characters. Change the spelling
favourite
Moreover
, playing Linking Words
games
Use synonyms
also
gain Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
apply
problem solving
skills and encourage Add a hyphen
problem-solving
children
to think beyond using Use synonyms
imaginations
and Fix the agreement mistake
imagination
logics
. Fix the agreement mistake
logic
For example
, Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
apply
kids
who play Use synonyms
games
are far better Use synonyms
in
managing the Change preposition
at
problem
in life Fix the agreement mistake
problems
that
Correct word choice
than
who
Correct pronoun usage
those who
doesn’t
handle Correct subject-verb agreement
don’t
the
problems.
Correct article usage
apply
To conclude
, watching Linking Words
TV
or playing Use synonyms
games
in Use synonyms
moderate
gain more beneficial for Replace the word
moderation
children
, yet not all genres suit Use synonyms
for
all Change preposition
apply
kids
. Use synonyms
Thus
, parents should play Linking Words
the
important role in order to limit the Correct article usage
an
screen-time
and filter the program for their Correct your spelling
screen time
kids
.Use synonyms
Submitted by pnakasont on
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Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, but the main body paragraphs need clearer topic sentences and more logical progression. Work on explicitly linking ideas and arguments within and between paragraphs.
Task Achievement
While you address both sides of the argument, ensure you're consistently clear and comprehensive in expressing your points. Strengthen your argument by including specific examples and elaborating on them. This will make your essay more persuasive and grounded.
Task Achievement
Ensure that all aspects of the essay question are fully addressed. For instance, examples specific to how reading books, watching TV, and playing video games can impact children’s development could strengthen your argument. Your examples need to support the key points you are making.
Introduction
Your introduction sets the stage well by presenting both sides of the argument, which is important for a balanced discussion.
Balanced Argument
You do a good job of considering multiple perspectives, such as the benefits of both reading and engaging with multimedia.
Conclusion
Your essay concludes by summarizing your main points, providing a clear ending to your discussion.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?