IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Nowadays, many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation. Why might this be the case? what could be the disadvantages of being self-employed .

#people #work #company #organisation #be #case
In
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
recent times, an increasing number of people are choosing to
work
 for themselves rather than being employees of organisations. I
beleive
Correct your spelling
believe
this
 preference may be because of its flexible
working- hour
Correct your spelling
working-hour
show examples
 structure and potential to earn more .
However
,
this
 working structure has its own set of drawbacks as well. The most prominent reason why more and more individuals are
prefering
Correct your spelling
preferring
 to start their own company is that it provides
opportunity
Add an article
an opportunity
the opportunity
show examples
 to maximize their earnings.
This
 means that when a person thrives to get remarkable sales for his firm, those profits belong to him,
whereas
 in
case
Correct article usage
the case
show examples
 of
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
employment, he might be entitled to a certain amount of salary only.
Moreover
,
an
Change preposition
in an
show examples
 organisation where he is his own boss, he can choose to plan his
work
 schedules as per his comfort.
However
,
this
 freedom of time is not possible in case a person works under a manager or a senior. A freelancer,
for-instance
Correct your spelling
for instance
show examples
, who is
also
 a new parent, may prefer to
work
 during the nap time of his child.
On the other hand
,
such
co-operation
Correct your spelling
cooperation
show examples
 may not be given by an employer.
Thus
, having more disposable income and a better
work
-life balance are the prominent factors
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 choosing self-employment over a
salaried-job
Correct your spelling
salaried job
show examples
. Despite offering some appealing benefits, running an organisation all by oneself could be stressful
ad
Correct your spelling
and
show examples
 burdensome. Since one person is
in-charge
Correct your spelling
in charge
show examples
 of all the departments of
work
, ranging from planning sales, operations and administration, marketing the product and providing after-sales services, he could feel
over-burderned
Correct your spelling
over-burdened
 with so many responsibilities. Eventually, many people might want to quit.
Moreover
, an entrepreneur may have to deal with the initial years of financial instability which may impact his standards of living as well. An employee,
for-instance
Correct your spelling
for instance
show examples
, gets a fixed salary credited to his bank account every month which aids in providing for his needs and gives him a sense of financial security,
whereas
such
 is not the case of self-employment.
Hence
,
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
entrepreneurship is
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 hard journey to take. In conclusion, self-employed individuals do get to explore their full potential in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
terms of making profits and
also
 enjoy autonomy of time,
nevertheless
, they have to deal with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
hardships
such
 as unstable finances,
immense
Correct word choice
and immense
show examples
mental-pressures
Correct your spelling
mental pressures
show examples
, to name a few.
Submitted by shaffyaroraca on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

grammar
Ensure consistent use of correct spelling and grammar, particularly with common words such as 'believe' and 'prefer'.
grammar
Make sure to proofread your essay to avoid typing errors. For example, 'ad burdensome' should be 'and burdensome' and 'over-burderned' should be 'overburdened'.
task achievement
Although the main points are well-supported, try to provide a bit more depth and detail to strengthen your arguments further. This will enhance clarity and relevance.
coherence cohesion
Consider using more varied sentence structures to enhance the fluidity and complexity of your writing. This can improve both readability and analytical depth.
introduction conclusion
The introduction and conclusion are clear and effectively summarize the main points being discussed.
task achievement
The essay provides a comprehensive response to the task, covering both the reasons why people choose self-employment and the disadvantages associated with it.
coherence cohesion
The essay is logically structured with clear main points and supporting ideas.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • self-employment
  • freelancing
  • entrepreneurship
  • autonomy
  • financial stability
  • work-life balance
  • financial insecurity
  • lack of support
  • resources
  • long working hours
  • uncertain income
  • job security
What to do next:
Look at other essays: