Some people say that the only reason for learning a foreign language is in order to travel to or work in a foreign country. Others say that these are not the only reason why someone should learn a foreign language. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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The motives behind learning a foreign
language
is
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are
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quite puzzling.
While
some believe that it solely stems from
people
wanting to be able to pursue working or travelling in a foreign country, I,
along with
others firmly believe that the other underlying motives
such
as cognitive development and cross-cultural understanding
similarly
may lead to
this
phenomenon.
To begin
with, some may claim that the motivation behind cultivating a foreign country's
language
, comes from nothing but the urge to work in or travel
to
Change preposition
apply
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there. With being able to communicate efficiently with indigenous
people
, migrants would have greater possibilities to be integrated
in
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into
with
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the host country's community, in both social and financial aspects. In
this
situation, migrants can benefit from greater job vacancies and in travel cases,
more
Correct article usage
a more
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powerful
understandying
Correct your spelling
understanding
of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society. To illustrate, a study conducted at the
university
Capitalize word
University
show examples
of Arkansas, demonstrated that among international pupils, those who
hadcultivated
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had cultivated
English
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the English
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language
before coming to Arkansas
,
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apply
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had the best academic performance and healthiest relationships. These benefits
highlights
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highlight
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that individuals would go after learning a second
language
if they grasp the impeccable effects of it on their occupational and social experiences.
However
, occupational and travelling aspirations may not be the sole indicators. In the majority of
the
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apply
show examples
societies
Add a comma
societies,
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people
are trying to foster
this
knowledge to improve their mental abilities. Since learning a new
language
serves as a stimulator for the brain, triggers the cognitive processes in the brain and
thus
, enhances
individauls
Correct your spelling
individual
memory,
people
are eager to do so.
Moreover
,
this
learning process enables individuals to go
further
their
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into their
show examples
society
and
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apply
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explore
in
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apply
show examples
foreign ones and
considering
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consider
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different aspects of a specific matter;
therefore
, they would be able to think critically, enriching their mental abilities even more. Take
british
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British
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students as an example; who start to learn
french
Capitalize word
French
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at their
priamary
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private
schools. After these courses, students not only have triggered some parts of their brain that would not
be lighten
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lighten
show examples
up
otherwise
but
also
cultivated critical thinking about the French society since they now know more about their cultures.
To conclude
,
while
work and travel aspirations are
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
the major motives behind becoming multilingual, they are not the only reasons. In fact,
Submitted by bita.rezaei7052 on

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Task Achievement
Your introduction presents a clear thesis. However, it could benefit from a bit more clarity and precision. Try to articulate your stance more decisively.
Coherence and Cohesion
Make sure that your conclusion ties back to your introduction. Your essay ends rather abruptly and doesn't clearly summarize your points or restate your thesis.
Coherence and Cohesion
Proofread your work to catch minor grammatical errors and typos such as 'priamary', 'understandying', and 'individauls' which can disrupt the flow of reading.
Task Achievement
Your essay demonstrates a very good understanding of the topic and presents relevant ideas.
Task Achievement
The examples you used, such as the University of Arkansas study, add credibility to your argument and help to illustrate your points.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay is generally well-organized and paragraphs are used effectively to present different points.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • multilingual
  • linguistic proficiency
  • globalized world
  • cross-cultural communication
  • immersive experience
  • adaptability
  • cultural exchange
  • interpersonal skills
  • employment prospects
  • empathy
  • intellectual development
  • overcome language barriers
  • global market
  • resourceful
  • life-changing
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