Some people say that large companies should provide sports and social facilities for local communities. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?

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It is a common belief that sports
centers
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centres
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and social buildings for local communities should be established by large
companies
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. I wholeheartedly disagree with
this
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opinion
due to
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two main reasons, that it is the
governmental
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government
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responsibility and the company should
use
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this
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money
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to develop related
companies
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.
Firstly
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, building social facilities is the responsibility of the government because everyone has to pay personal income tax and much other
money
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for the state yearly to develop their countries and social welfare.
In other words
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, the state has to take responsibility for the
money
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of residents and
use
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that
money
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reasonably,
such
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as
centers
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centres
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, sports, hospitals , schools and parks.
Similarly
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, the corporation pays a huge tax so they do not need to appropriate a large sum of
money
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for local communities.
On the other hand
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,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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large
companies
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necessarily
use
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their
money
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for business or other related aspects . Because almost all social facilities are of a high rank.
Instead
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of using a lot of
money
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for the unnecessary, the company can
use
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this
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money
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to increase
salary
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salaries
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or reward
for
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apply
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outstanding
laborers
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labourers
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.
This
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helps promote
hard -working
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hard-working
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staff and bring higher value
at
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to
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work and from there
to
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apply
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develop the group. Employer life
also
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improves
due to
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their dedication. In conclusion, I voice the opinion that promoting social development and sports in local areas should not be made by
companies
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and
companies
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should
use
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that
money
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in a reasonable job to develop their business.
Submitted by huyentrang712 on

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task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your arguments. For instance, you can mention specific taxes or social facilities funded by the government that illustrate your point.
task achievement
Clarify your points more comprehensively. Some sentences are somewhat vague and could use more detail to make them clearer and stronger.
coherence cohesion
Make sure to use transitions smoothly between paragraphs and ideas. This will help in making your essay more coherent and easier to follow.
coherence cohesion
The introduction clearly states your position and briefly outlines the reasons for it, which is a strong start.
coherence cohesion
You have included both an introduction and a conclusion, which help frame your essay well.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a logical structure, with each main point clearly separated into different paragraphs.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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