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Writing Samples
Band 4

Number of tourists visiting Caribbean island(2010-2017)

#tourists #caribbean #island
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Given is a line graph depicting information on
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
number
Use synonyms
 of individuals who visited
to
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
one of
Caribbean
Add an article
the Caribbean
show examples
 islands over the period of 7 years. Units have been supplied in millions.
Overall
Linking Words
, It is evident from the graph that there have been constant upward trends in two categories : cruise ships and island residents. Meanwhile, the
number
Use synonyms
 of
third
Correct article usage
the third
show examples
 “total” category saw
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
exponential growth over the period given in the question. As for the details, in 2010 total
number
Use synonyms
 of tourists began at 1
million
Use synonyms
, after which the figure started to rise substantially to about 2.8
million
Use synonyms
. Before having witnessed a sharp increase to 3.5
million
Use synonyms
 in 2017, the figure
then
Linking Words
 remained steady for a year at 2.8
million
Use synonyms
 in 2016. With regard to the
number
Use synonyms
 of tourists staying
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 cruise ships, It fluctuated at approximately under 0.5
million
Use synonyms
 in the early 2 years of the time.
Subsequently
Linking Words
, there was a constant rapid uphill by 2
million
Use synonyms
 in 2017.
In contrast
Linking Words
, unlike
two
Correct article usage
the two
show examples
 categories, the
number
Use synonyms
 of island residents remained unchanged at below 0.5
million
Use synonyms
 between 2010 and 2011.
However
Linking Words
, the trend
then
Linking Words
 commenced to rise significantly by 1.5
million
Use synonyms
 in 2013. Despite a fluctuation
at
Change preposition
of
show examples
 1.5
million
Use synonyms
 over 3 years, the
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
show examples
 of tourists, staying on
island
Add an article
the island
show examples
,recovered to its former status.
Submitted by a_zamjonov99 on

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task achievement
Make your introduction slightly more concise and clear by stating directly that the line graph shows the number of tourists who visited the Caribbean island from 2010 to 2017 in millions.
coherence cohesion
Try to vary the sentence structures more to improve the fluency and readability of your essay.
task achievement
The overall trend is clearly stated in both the introduction and the specific details provided later in the essay.
coherence cohesion
The essay maintains a coherent structure with clear paragraphs that separate the general trends from the specific details.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • fluctuation
  • peak
  • trough
  • upward trend
  • downward trend
  • steady increase
  • sharp decline
  • seasonal variation
  • cruise ship visitors
  • island stay visitors
  • economic impact
  • environmental impact
  • tourism industry
  • sustainable tourism
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