The gap between the rich and the poor is becoming much wider, the rich richer, the poor even poorer. What problems can the situation cause and give the solution.
In
the
recent years, it is vital to understand that the distance between the wealthy class and the poor class is becoming much wider. The rich Correct article usage
apply
is
becoming much richer, the poor Change the verb form
are
is
becoming poorer and poorer. Change the verb form
are
This
issue is quite a big problem in every countries
nowadays, but it can be solved if the Change to a singular noun
country
government
take care of the people
who are in difficulties.
The principle
cause of Correct your spelling
principal
this
issue is self-motivation. It must be recognised that people
who are successful with their work
will have more opportunities to improve their life
than the Fix the agreement mistake
lives
people
who always have failures. Consequently
, it dues to the fact that they will gain self-motivation by themselves. They will have a chance to work
harder to achieve their ambition in their life
. Another reason that is
considered is people
who are
succeed in working only need to keep their Unnecessary verb
apply
work
sustainable. Unlike them, people
who are living in poor conditions have an amount
of difficulties in their Change the quantifier
a number
life
. They must do everything by themselves because they can not afford a large money to encourage investment from other companies.
However
, a solution can be found if the government
take a look at people
who have difficulties in their life
. The most Fix the agreement mistake
lives
affective
Correct your spelling
effective
things
Fix the agreement mistake
thing
are
the Correct subject-verb agreement
is
government
should take a look at their living quality. If they have a better life
, they will be willing to try their best to work
hard. As a result
, they will gain experience to have a better chance for their life
.
Thus
, the wider gap between the
rich Correct article usage
apply
people
and the
poor Correct article usage
apply
people
stems from the lack of self-motivation. Thereby
, the Rephrase
Therefore
government
should consider looking after at
Change preposition
apply
the
poverty in order to have a better Correct article usage
apply
living
span.Replace the word
life
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task achievement
The essay generally addresses the gap between rich and poor, but it needs to delve deeper into the specific problems this gap causes. Ensure you explore multiple dimensions of the problem like societal instability, health disparities, crime rates, etc.
clarity of ideas
Your ideas are generally clear, but some sentences require clarity and conciseness. Try to avoid repetitive statements, such as rephrasing the idea that the rich get richer and the poor get poorer. This will help in making your ideas sharper and more direct.
coherence cohesion
While you have a basic introduction and conclusion, strengthen them by summarizing the central themes of your essay. For the conclusion, consider suggesting more specific actions the government could take.
supported main points
Support your main points with specific examples or evidence to make them more compelling. This can include statistical data, historical examples, or case studies. This will also reinforce your arguments and make your essay robust.
introduction
You clearly state the problem and its significance in the introduction, setting up a clear context for your essay.
conclusion
The essay ends with a conclusion that reiterates the main idea, which is essential for a well-rounded response.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.