Celebrities such as actors, athletes and musicians earn large salaries compared to other professionals. Some people consider this unfair, while others think that celebrities deserve to be paid a lot for the work they do. Discuss both points of view and give your opinion on the subject.

#celebrities #actors #athletes #musicians #salaries #professionals #people #work #points

Famous stars

such

as sports persons,actors and musicians are getting telephone numbers

salaries

in comparison with other working professionals. Some say it is an unacceptable thing,

while

others argue that film stars and other famous

people

deserve to get huge for their roles.

This

essay will argue that

although

celebrities

are only working for entertainment,their hard work and passion towards work go unnoticed as well they have very short careers.

To begin

with,many individuals argue that famous

people

are getting huge

money

,which they deserve.First and foremost,they have very small

careerscareers

Correct your spelling

career careers

. To elaborate, big

celebrities

are getting paid for their natural talent,

whereas

this

talent only works for a limited time.

For instance

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

sports persons are able to play for 15-20 years,

therefore

they have very limited time to earn

money

and save for retirement lives.

Moreover

,folks are focusing only fame and

money

celebrities

rather than their hard work,passion and dedication to their profession.

Thus

,these

people

are getting huge

salaries

,which is acceptable.

However

,some say

celebrities

are getting

above par

Add a hyphen

above-par

show examples

salaries

,which is unfair to other professions.

Firstly

, entertainment is the only goal for

people

, who are in the film industry and sports,

while

, there are many other professions that are doing extremely well for the country.To exemplify, army officers, scientists and doctors are the foundation of the nation,

therefore

it is mandatory to give more

money

to them.

Furthermore

, the military

people

and doctors have been working for more than 30 years in their careers,so it will be worth it to invest more funds towards them.

Thus

,it is unfair to give large

salaries

to famous actors and athletes.

To conclude

celebrities

are getting paid for their natural talent and small careers,

whereas

,the contributions of the army, scientists and doctors are unavoidable for the nation.

Submitted by pp6859 on Sun Jun 02 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Your task response is generally good, but ensure that you fully address all parts of the question. Try to balance the argument with more specific examples and deeper analysis for both viewpoints.

coherence cohesion

To improve coherence and cohesion, work on ensuring smoother transitions between ideas. Use linking words and phrases to better connect your arguments, and try to maintain a clear and logical flow throughout the essay.

task achievement

Watch out for minor grammatical errors and punctuation issues, as they can distract the reader and detract from the overall clarity of your writing. Consider setting aside some time for careful proofreading.

coherence cohesion

Your essay would benefit from more varied vocabulary and sentence structures to make it more engaging. This will help make your arguments more compelling and clear.

introduction conclusion present

You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in structuring your essay well.

complete response

Your arguments are balanced, and you have covered both viewpoints, which shows a good understanding of the topic.

relevant specific examples

The essay contains relevant points and examples, which help illustrate your arguments.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

14Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

285 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
You recently bought some train tickets for a journey a week in advance. When you want to the station to catch the train, you were told you could not use the tickets and the staff were very unhelpful to you. Write a letter to the train company. In your letter * Describe the problem you had with the tickets * Say why you were unhappy with the staff * Suggest what action the train company should take
I hope this letter finds you in good health. I am writing this letter to express my dissastification of your staff service quality when I need assistance.
5
band
In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?
At present, companies are often bringing out the new features about their products to highlight as their marketing strategy because this makes these stand out to their customers. From my point of view, it is acceptable as long as these advertisements are not exaggerating about what is new in reality.
7
band
In some countries, more and more people are people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?
Today many people believe that the facts about the history of the building they live in are interesting. As far as I am concerned there are many reasons that somebody may be concerned about this issue one of which can be curiosity and the way that people can research these facts maybe by asking the neighbours or through city counselling offices.
7
band
Some people think that it is beneficial for children to do paid work, while others think that it can be harmful for children. What are the advantages and disadvantages of children doing paid work?
Although paid work is thought by some to be a useful experience for children, other people consider that it can be detrimental. Children can learn about earning money and gain independence from doing paid work but there are also drawbacks to be taken into account.
5.5
band
Organised tours to remote places and communities are increasingly popular. Is this a positive or negative development for the local people and the local environment?
More and more tourism companies are offering organized vacations to destinations that are less frequently visited. While can see benefits, l believe that overall this is a negative development.

Celebrities such as actors, athletes and musicians earn large salaries compared to other professionals. Some people consider this unfair, while others think that celebrities deserve to be paid a lot for the work they do. Discuss both points of view and give your opinion on the subject.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

In some countries, more and more people are people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?

Some people think that it is beneficial for children to do paid work, while others think that it can be harmful for children. What are the advantages and disadvantages of children doing paid work?

Organised tours to remote places and communities are increasingly popular. Is this a positive or negative development for the local people and the local environment?