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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the percentage of difference in income between men and women from 1978 to 2008. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the percentage of difference in income between men and women from 1978 to 2008. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#percentage #difference #income #men #women #information #features #comparisons
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The line chart illustrated the change
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
Use synonyms
income
Correct article usage
the income
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 amount of genders over 3 decades.
Overall
Linking Words
, there are 5 countries distributed
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 3 groups the highest,
middles
Fix the agreement mistake
middle
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 and lowest. They were decreasing
amoung
Correct your spelling
among
 the decades but Australia jumped just over 20% in 2008.
To begin
Linking Words
with
Add a comma
with,
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 the highest amount of changing
income
Use synonyms
 between men and women in
japan
Capitalize word
Japan
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 was less than 50% in 1978.
Moreover
Linking Words
, continued decreasing over 3 decades to end at just above 40% in 2008. As for the middle countries are US and
Correct article usage
the Uk
show examples
Uk
Correct your spelling
UK
show examples
, they were around each other in the differences
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
income
Use synonyms
.
While
Linking Words
 in 1978
US
Correct article usage
the US
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 was higher than
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 at above 30% and
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
less
Change preposition
at less
show examples
 than 30%, both of them constantly decreased to reach less than 30% in 2008.
Linking Words
Further more
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
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, the lowest countries are France and Australia they both were under 20% in 1978 and continued decreasing.
However
Linking Words
, in 2008 Australia jumped to
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
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above 20% and France continued dropping. In conclusion, we can notice
by
Change preposition
that over
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 the years the difference between
men
Change noun form
men's
show examples
 and
women
Change noun form
women's
show examples
income
Use synonyms
 is decreasing.
Submitted by fofo-_-qtr on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words income with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "differences" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "jumped" was used 2 times.
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