IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think it is necessary to use animals to test medicines or products intended for human use. Others, however, criticize this as animal cruelty. Discuss both of these views and give your own opinion Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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In the eyes of some people, using
animals
Use synonyms
 as experimental subjects for developing and manufacturing new products for human beings is necessary to record any
undesireable
Correct your spelling
undesirable
 side effects, and to examine new protocols and theories before applying them. Yet, there is a belief that it is
inhuman
Correct your spelling
inhumane
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 to carry
experiments
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out experiments
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 on
animals
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 as they are exploited just to save cost. In recent years, as media and news have been developed, cruel images of
animals
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 tested for products
such
Linking Words
 as cosmetics or medications have
came
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come
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 to our awareness. Many organisations have been discovered to exploit animal testing to save cost, as it will be cheaper than establishing a well-equipped laboratory to test for certain products.
Moreover
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, some news has shown that after being done, the subject
animals
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 will be discarded cruelly, with most being killed and dumped into the surrounding area without any treatment to prevent the leakage of harmful substances from the used
animals
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 into the environment.
However
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, testing on
animals
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 has been proven to be fundamental for various medical discoveries. Different diseases, including common infections like pneumonia, have been made treatable owing to the different stages of drug trials, with
animals
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 involved in them as experimental subjects.
Moreover
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, without the help of
sheeps
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sheep
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, in
vivo
Add a comma
vivo,
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 fertilization would have been impossible, and a huge
numbers
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number
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 of children
benefits
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benefit
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 from vaccines developed from animal testing on a
dalisy
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daily
daisy
 basis.
Hence
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,
animals
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 play an important role in modern medicine, aiding in new inventions and pushing our progress much
further
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. In conclusion,
although
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 some animal testing is indeed cruel, and the treatment those subjects receive is horrible, I believe that carrying experiments on
animals
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 is an integral part of the advances of our healthcare system, as there are different diseases affecting many people of which the cures are still unknown, and experimenting on
animals
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 is fundamental in the discovery of
such
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 methods.

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task achievement
To achieve a higher score in task response, try to include more specific examples or statistics that strengthen your argument. For instance, you could mention specific medical breakthroughs achieved through animal testing or cite cases where alternative methods were insufficient.
supported main points
Ensure that all your main points are well-supported. You have a strong start, but there are areas where examples could be more specific and detailed to provide better support for your arguments.
logical structure
While your essay is logically structured, consider refining the transitions between paragraphs to further enhance the flow of your essay. Phrases like 'On the other hand' or 'Moreover' can help in guiding the reader more smoothly through your arguments.
introduction conclusion present
Your essay has a clear introduction that sets up the discussion well and a conclusion that succinctly summarizes your main arguments.
complete response
You have addressed both sides of the argument effectively, which demonstrates a balanced understanding of the topic.
clear comprehensive ideas
Your ideas are clear and comprehensive, and you succeed in explaining the rationale behind both viewpoints on the issue.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Animal testing
  • Ethical concerns
  • Medical advancements
  • Safety assessment
  • Vaccines
  • Antibiotics
  • Physiological similarities
  • Cruelty-free alternatives
  • In vitro testing
  • Computer modeling
  • Synthetic human tissue
  • Sentient beings
  • Potential toxicity
  • Alternative methods
  • Humane and cost-effective
  • Research institutions
  • Reliability
  • Ethical considerations
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