IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

There are a growing demand for fresh water nowadays and this is becoming a global problem. What are the causes and solutions.

#demand #water
It is
frequent
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frequently
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 a topic of discussion.There
are
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is
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a
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an
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 increasing require for fresh
water
 at present times,
this
 is promoting worldwide
a
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apply
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massive trouble. The issue of lack of
water
 is growing rapidly around the globe for the time being.
This
 is a worrying trend, since it results in
tong term
Correct your spelling
long-term
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 impacts of
water
, from my perspective, the most detrimental
outcomes
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outcome
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 of
this
 issue
are
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is
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 nobody can live without
water
, especially individuals. If we don't have much
water
 in the world. There may be drought and for one thing, we must economize the potable. Since
,
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apply
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 fresh is diminishing day by day.
At
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In
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 recent years, As we know, Africa and other countries
suffer
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have suffered
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 from potable. Now, we know that
,
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apply
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 we use the clean
water
 overbalance.
As well
as
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apply
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, our factories and plastics, rubbish,
cars
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and cars
show examples
 poison clean
water
. We need to decrease factories.
Similarly
, plastics. The reason why, Factory's and
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cars'
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car's
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cars'
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 toxic smoke is influential and detrimental
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to
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for
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to
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 fresh air and
water
,
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Is
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As
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Is
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for
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that
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 plastics,
Correct word choice
and rubbish
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rubbish
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and rubbish
show examples
Correct subject-verb agreement
falls
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fall
Correct subject-verb agreement
falls
show examples
Change preposition
into the
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the
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into the
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 potable. The
water
 may be toxic. In order to resolve
this
 issue I deem that its root causes should be first addressed. Perhaps, the most effective method of doing
this
 would be rescue from
water
 shortage. Some people turn on the tap at
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 unimportant time. We should turn off the faucet. If some
persons
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people
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 just turn on the faucet. The government must
Correct your spelling
organize
orgnize
Correct your spelling
organise
penalty
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penalties
show examples
, By way of
conclusion
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conclusion,
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 the world had created all things with
water
. The
water
 is much more. But clean
water
 is declining.
As well as
, In the world, salty
water
 is 97 per cent.
Nevertheless
. Potable is 3 per cent.
Therefore
, we
need
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need to
show examples
 save it.
Submitted by Shaxnoza on

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coherence cohesion
Focus on improving your introduction and conclusion to provide a clear overview and summary of your essay. Make sure the introduction introduces the topic clearly and the conclusion summarizes your main points effectively.
task achievement
Develop your main points with more specific examples and explanations. For instance, you can mention specific industries or practices that exacerbate water scarcity and suggest more detailed solutions.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving sentence structure and grammar. Using varied sentence structures and correct grammar will improve the clarity and readability of your essay.
task achievement
The essay addresses the topic and covers both causes and solutions, demonstrating a clear understanding of the issue.
task achievement
You have made an effort to identify specific causes of water scarcity, such as pollution and overuse of clean water, and suggested solutions like conservation and penalties for wastage.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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