Some people suggest that teenagers should follow the example of older people. Others believe that it is natural for teenagers to challenge what older people say. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

It is a frequent topic of discussion.It is popularly believed that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
of new generations must follow suit the pattern of seniors. Others hope that it is
innate
Add an article
the innate
an innate
show examples
circumstance for adults to struggle
what
Change preposition
with what
show examples
older people say. I will discuss
this
essay. In my book, teenagers need to
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
follow the details of seniors unilaterally.
Minority
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A minority
The minority
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of
youngesters
Correct your spelling
youngsters
do not
listen
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listen to
show examples
elderly
human's
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human
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data.
Similarly
, old people
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
know
a
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apply
show examples
plenty of objects that
angel
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angels
show examples
do not know beforehand. After that, they have
variety
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a variety
show examples
ordeals
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of ordeals
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. They do not want different disorders for us. We ought
Add the word
to
show examples
take
advices
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advice
pieces of advice
bits of advice
show examples
from theirs , to marry and in lifestyles. The reason why, one fault triggers many fallibilities. L
On the other hand
, more often than not, we must not obey
to
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apply
show examples
all seniors. As a case in point, to select professions, we need to choose our jobs with our desire. We should not live with their desire and their perspective. Set
in
Correct your spelling
an
show examples
example, we may dislike the profession they have chosen. We need to pick our job with our desire. If we do choose our
unpleasent
Correct your spelling
unpleasant
occupation with their opinion.
This
brings health issues, sicks and frustrations in the long run. We need to be our opinion. All in all, I join two
point
Change to a plural noun
points
show examples
. The reason why. Every now and
then
. Old people's
advises
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advice
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are come
Wrong verb form
comes
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in handy for us unilaterally,
on the other hand
, Their
advises
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advice
show examples
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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not beneficial
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
us
Submitted by Shaxnoza on

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General
Your essay needs a clear introduction and conclusion. An introduction should clearly state the topic and your opinion, while a conclusion should summarize the main points of your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, make sure your paragraphs are well-connected and flow smoothly from one idea to the next. Use transition words and phrases to help guide the reader through your essay.
Task Achievement
Expand on your main points with specific, relevant examples. This will bolster your arguments and provide clearer context for your ideas.
General
Work on sentence structure and grammatical accuracy to enhance the clarity and readability of your essay. Proofreading your work can help identify and correct errors.
Content
You have a good foundation of ideas and demonstrate an understanding of both perspectives in the debate.
Content
Your essay shows that you grasp the importance of balancing advice from older generations with personal choice and desires.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Role models
  • Respect for tradition
  • Wisdom
  • Societal stability
  • Continuity
  • Critical thinking
  • Innovation
  • Societal progress
  • Adaptability
  • Questioning authority
  • Seeking identity
  • Generational gap
  • Value systems
  • Adherence
  • Challenging norms
  • Cultural evolution
  • Empathy
  • Guidance
  • Rebellion
What to do next:
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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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