The care for children is probably the most important job in any society. For this reason, all mothers and fathers must take a course that prepares them to become good parents. To that extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Children
Change noun form
Children's
show examples
care
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
regarded as the primary
duties
Fix the agreement mistake
duty
show examples
in many countries. I am strongly convinced that all
parents
are supposed to learn how to
breading
Verb problem
breed
show examples
their
children
appropriately. To commence, it may avoid several
potencial
Correct your spelling
potential
potentially
harmful influences
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
children
by
enforcing
Verb problem
forcing
show examples
parents
to take a
children related
Add a hyphen
children-related
show examples
course.
This
is because
that
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
parents
are highly likely to spread adverse impacts on their
children
unconsciously in daily
lives
Fix the agreement mistake
life
show examples
untill
Correct your spelling
until
they notice them from books or teachers.
For example
, some
parents
may argue with each other by using swear words, so
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
children
who get in touch with them
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
are prone to imitate those
unproper
Correct your spelling
improper
behaviours
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
a young age, forming a bad speaking
habit
Fix the agreement mistake
habits
show examples
. Meanwhile, some courses
interms
Correct your spelling
in terms
of how to educate
children
are able to help
parents
instruct their
children
correctly. Individuals without taking courses are unaware of the way of educating their
children
under the different occasions, where they will guide their
children
unreasonbly
Correct your spelling
unreasonably
.
For instance
, some people choose to punish their
children
in public
place
Fix the agreement mistake
places
show examples
because it makes
children
realize their bad behaviours effectively.
However
,
children
are
extrodinary
Correct your spelling
extraordinarily
sensetive
Correct your spelling
sensitive
and most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
parents
do not notice the side
effect
Fix the agreement mistake
effects
show examples
which may lead
Change preposition
to children'
show examples
children'
Change noun form
children's
show examples
mental
disease
Fix the agreement mistake
diseases
show examples
like depression by conducting that measurement. If they are
tought
Correct your spelling
taught
there
Correct word choice
that there
show examples
are other workable solutions that can tackle
children'
Change noun form
children's
show examples
wrong behaviours, those consequences can be prevented. In conclusion, courses are integral to parenting and
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
may help
parents
reduce the
Correct your spelling
adverse
adervse
Correct your spelling
adverse
impacts on
children
.
Submitted by 1356388645 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

grammar
Ensure to proofread for spelling and grammatical errors, as they can distract the reader and reduce clarity. For example, 'breading' should be 'raising' or 'bringing up,' and 'untill' should be 'until'.
introduction
Strengthen your introduction. Include a clear thesis statement that effectively outlines your main points. In this case, it would be beneficial to briefly mention the main points you will discuss in the body paragraphs.
transitions
Improve transitions between ideas to enhance the logical flow of the essay. For example, instead of 'Meanwhile', use a clearer transitional phrase like 'Moreover' or 'Additionally'.
examples
The essay provides relevant examples to support the points made, such as the potential negative impact of swearing and public punishment on children.
conclusion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points discussed in the essay.
coherence
The essay displays coherent and cohesive arguments which generally support the central idea.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: