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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The bar chart below describes some changes about the percentage of people were born in Australia and who were born outside Australia living in urban, rural and town between 1995 and 2010.

The bar chart below describes some changes about the percentage of people were born in Australia and who were born outside Australia living in urban, rural and town between 1995 and 2010.
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The given bar chart shows how much
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
 born in
Autsralia
Correct your spelling
Australia
 and it shows
people
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 who were born outside
Australia
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livng
Correct your spelling
living
 in urban, rural and
town
Fix the agreement mistake
towns
show examples
 from 1995 to 2010. In
genereal
Correct your spelling
general
, cities
had been
Wrong verb form
were
show examples
 crowded in 1995 and 2010 but
towns
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 and rural areas very changed. In 1995,
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percentage
Correct article usage
the percentage
show examples
 of
people
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 born in
Australia
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 was almost 50
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percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 and it increased to just over 60
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percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in 2010.
People
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 who
born
Add a missing verb
were born
show examples
 in
Australia
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's
towns
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was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 20
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percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in 1995 and it decreased slightly to almost
percent
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 18.
Number
Change the article
A number
The number
show examples
 of
people
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 born in
Australia
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's rural areas was approximately 30
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percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in 1995 and it fell to
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percentage
Add an article
the percentage
a percentage
show examples
 of
towns
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 in 2010.
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Percentage
Correct article usage
The percentage
show examples
 of
people
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 born
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
outside
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Australia's
Change noun form
Australia
show examples
 was 60
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percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 when started and it increased dramatically to 80
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percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
.
Number
Change the article
A number
The number
show examples
 of
people
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 who
born
Add a missing verb
were born
show examples
 in
Australia
Use synonyms
's
towns
Use synonyms
had been
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 almost 10
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in 1995 and it didn't change.
Use synonyms
Percentage
Correct article usage
The percentage
show examples
 of
people
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 born
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
outside
Australia
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 was 40
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percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 but it
decreas
Correct your spelling
decreased
decreases
decrease
 sharply to no more no less
5
Change preposition
than 5
show examples
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in 2010.

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Linking words: Add some linking words.
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Linking words: Add linking words.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 68%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage, people, australia, towns, percent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "changed" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 3 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • demographics
  • urbanization
  • migration patterns
  • population distribution
  • percentage points
  • growth rate
  • decline
  • trend analysis
  • socioeconomic factors
  • infrastructure development
  • rural exodus
  • census data
  • lifestyle changes
  • residential patterns
  • immigration policies
  • emigration
  • natural increase
  • birth rate
  • settlement patterns
  • push and pull factors
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